Brian: Thank you for your review, and thank you Lorenzo for taking these comments into account. I have balloted No-Objection for this document.
jari On Sep 9, 2013, at 6:08 PM, Lorenzo Miniero <[email protected]> wrote: > Brian, > > thanks for the review! We'll add those elements to the terminology > section. > > About the "Mealy automaton", rather than adding a reference to pages > like Wikipedia, I'd go for an inline indication to the reader. Would it > be ok to add the "finite state automaton" in brackets after the text > where "Mealy automaton" is first introduced? > > Thanks, > Lorenzo > > > Il giorno Sun, 08 Sep 2013 13:05:55 +1200 > Brian E Carpenter <[email protected]> ha scritto: > >> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on >> Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at >> http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq. >> >> Please wait for direction from your document shepherd or AD before >> posting a new version of the draft. >> >> Document: draft-ietf-mediactrl-call-flows-13.txt (Informational) >> Reviewer: Brian Carpenter >> Review Date: 2013-09-08 >> IETF LC End Date: 2013-09-03 >> IESG Telechat date: 2013-09-12 >> >> Summary: Ready >> -------- >> >> Comment: >> -------- >> >> This is a massive (175pp) and highly specialised document, for which >> a generalist review is pretty much useless. I have not checked the >> example flows, XML extracts, etc. IMHO, we have to trust the authors >> and the WG in a case like this. >> >> The document is clear and where I have sampled the text in the >> examples it is up to standard. >> >> This review is the same as for Last Call; my comments are just >> editorial suggestions. >> >> Editorial: >> ---------- >> >> There are a few abbreviations (AS, MS, CFW) that could usefully be >> included in the Terminology section. >> >> Also, AS is widely used in the IETF to mean Autonomous System. Some >> readers might be confused at first, so this should be stated very >> clearly. >> >> "Mealy automaton" (section 4.1) needs a reference. Or it might be >> sufficient just to say "finite state automaton." >> > > _______________________________________________ > Gen-art mailing list > [email protected] > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art _______________________________________________ Gen-art mailing list [email protected] https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
