On 31/07/2013 23:22, Stroller wrote:
> 
> On 31 July 2013, at 20:38, Alan McKinnon wrote:
>>> ...
>>> Heck! Even according to yourself, in the same email, I'm not understanding 
>>> it wrong!
>>>
>>>
>>> I've asked you this before - would you stop wrongly telling people they're 
>>> wrong, please?
>>>
>>> Would you please just stop and think "could it be me who is 
>>> misunderstanding this?"
>>>
>>> Could you please just rephrase yourself "I think you may be mistaken". 
>>>
>>> Whenever it is *you* who is mistaken, you are always assertively and 
>>> authoritatively so.
>>>
>>> This makes it harder for people to question or challenge you, and it 
>>> ensures those you misadvise will waste their time with greater 
>>> determination. "Well, Alan knows what he's on about, and he said this 
>>> definitely - there was no doubt in his statement". 
>>>
>>> Not only that, it's just plain annoying to be told one is wrong when one is 
>>> not. 
>>
>>
>> Sure, I can do that.
>>
>> I read "that there will be files installed to /etc/init.d/ that don't
>> actually do anything" different to what you intended. English can be
>> very ambiguous.
>>
>> If we take "You are understanding it wrong." out of my mail is the rest OK?
> 
> The problem with the rest of that message was that, although accurate, it 
> stemmed from the assumption that someone else must have misunderstood. 
> 
> A similar explanation had already been given in this thread - I'd read that, 
> and that's why I was responding.
> 
> Had you instead asked "what do you mean?" or "why does that bother you?" you 
> would have given me the opportunity to clarify.
> 
> Had I shown a misunderstanding upon further elaboration, that would been your 
> opportunity to demonstrate your wisdom.
> 
> Everyone here respects your knowledge and experience, it just feels like 
> you're in such a rush to be helpful that you assume someone else must've 
> screwed up. 


This might sound a bit weird, but I type like I speak. I never developed
a distinct writing style different from a spoken style, and people who
know me in person comment on it often. And I don't proof-read enough
either. My bad.


I don't have any of these problems with face-to-face conversation, but
it doesn't work too good over email. I'm not unaware of how I probably
come across, and I'm working on it. Admittedly I'm not having a huge
amount of success just yet, but I am working on it. Several smart folk
tell me it takes time.

Are we OK on this for now, or is there more to discuss?


-- 
Alan McKinnon
alan.mckin...@gmail.com


Reply via email to