Hi Gerv,

Alina and I summarized all the feedback and responded to it in this Google doc. 
 Let us know if this doesn't answer your questions.  

https://docs.google.com/a/mozilla.com/document/d/18KpDi85Iguc0hI39UbxGG7gOPmQBcAU3WhSIOnal4bw/edit#
 

On Monday, July 21, 2014 3:23:24 AM UTC-7, Gervase Markham wrote:
> Hi Alina,
> 
> 
> 
> Thanks for running this review :-) Lots of interesting stuff in here;
> 
> forgive me if I focus on the bits I think may need more work.
> 
> 
> 
> On 19/07/14 00:33, Alina Hua wrote:
> 
> > NO SURPRISES Previous: Only use and share information about our users
> 
> > for their benefit and as spelled out in our notices. New: Use
> 
> > information in a way that is transparent and benefits the user. 
> 
> 
> 
> Why was "and share" removed?
> 
> 
> 
> > SENSIBLE SETTINGS Previous: Establish default settings that balance
> 
> > safety and user experience appropriately. New: Design for a
> 
> > thoughtful balance of safety and user experience. Context: Replaced
> 
> > "Establish default settings" with  "Design for" to be less repetitive
> 
> > with the title and focus on the engineering design phase.  Replaced
> 
> > "appropriately" with "thoughtful" to indicate carefully considered
> 
> > tradeoffs.
> 
> 
> 
> This problem was present in the original, but: this implies that there's
> 
> a trade-off between safety and user experience. I don't think that's so
> 
> - you can have very usable, very privacy-respecting software. The
> 
> difficult tradeoff is often between safety and _features_. That is to
> 
> say, users want to do a certain thing or site owners want to provide a
> 
> certain capability, but it's hard to do it in a way which also preserves
> 
> their privacy.
> 
> 
> 
> > REAL CHOICES (removed) Previous: Educate users whenever we collect
> 
> > any personal information and give them a choice whenever possible. 
> 
> > Context: Eliminated based on feedback that the difference between
> 
> > choice and control wasn't clear, and that the conversation has moved
> 
> > to control, rather than choice.
> 
> 
> 
> So the argument is that this issue is now covered by the "User Control"
> 
> section?
> 
> 
> 
> > LIMITED DATA Previous: Collect and retain the least amount of user
> 
> > information necessary. Try to share anonymous aggregate data whenever
> 
> > possible, and then only when it benefits the web, users or
> 
> > developers. New:  Collect what we need, de-identify where we can and
> 
> > delete when no longer necessary. Context: Replaced "collect and
> 
> > retain the least amount" with the broader "collect what we need".
> 
> > Removed "only when it benefits" seemed broad enough that most things
> 
> > would fall in one of the three.
> 
> 
> 
> I think this actually was valuable due to what it excluded - it excluded
> 
> benefit to _us_. That is to say, if we collected user information and
> 
> simply sold it at a profit, that would _not_ be covered. Now, we just
> 
> have "what we need", and so if we argue that Mozilla "needs" to make
> 
> money to stay in business, we could argue that the practice just
> 
> outlined was in line with the new principles.
> 
> 
> 
> > Considered adding "collect only" but
> 
> > concerns about differences in definition (ex: indirect benefit vs.
> 
> > direct benefit). 
> 
> 
> 
> To add "only" was my immediate thought; I would be interested in more
> 
> discussion about why this was left out.
> 
> 
> 
> > USER CONTROL Previous: Do not disclose personal user experience
> 
> > without the user's consent. Innovate, develop and advocate for
> 
> > privacy enhancements that put users in control of their online
> 
> > experiences. New: Establish enhancements that allow individuals to
> 
> > control their data and online experiences Context: Removed the
> 
> > sentence about consent, because it is more of an example of enabling
> 
> > control. Removed "advocate for" to simplify and to focus on direct
> 
> > engineering action.  Added 'control their data'.
> 
> 
> 
> "Establish enhancements" is an odd phrase. It also makes it sound like
> 
> we don't do this at the moment, but hope to in the future. I hope that's
> 
> not true :-)
> 
> 
> 
> > TRUSTED THIRD PARTIES (relocated) Previous: Make privacy a factor in
> 
> > selecting and interacting with partners. Context: Incorporated into
> 
> > the introduction as "select and interact with partners".  All
> 
> > principles inform how we work with partners, so this does not need to
> 
> > be a standalone principle.
> 
> 
> 
> "Interact with" is weaker than "choose". "Choose" means "we might reject
> 
> this partner if their privacy story sucks". "Interact with" could mean
> 
> "having chosen this partner, we use the principles to make sure we do
> 
> whatever they can manage on the privacy front (but if it sucks, that
> 
> doesn't mean we change provider, because we did our best)".
> 
> 
> 
> I like the idea that we would refuse to work with a partner who couldn't
> 
> maintain the privacy of our users.
> 
> 
> 
> > IN-DEPTH DEFENSE (added) New: Innovate multi-layered security
> 
> > controls and practices,
> 
> 
> 
> "Innovate" as a transitive verb sounds really like marketing-speak.
> 
> 
> 
> > many of which are publicly verifiable by our
> 
> > global community. 
> 
> 
> 
> "Many of which" seems weak.
> 
> 
> 
> "Between me and my brother, we know everything!"
> 
> "OK, what's the capital of Chad?"
> 
> "Er... that's one my brother knows."
> 
> 
> 
> Gerv
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