My apologies for Nicholas taking up a large portion of time and
distracting everyone. He is now banned, as stated in the last email if
he continued on this thread.

Chris

On Tue, Oct 19, 2010 at 5:25 AM, Nicholas Sanders <[email protected]> wrote:
> Chris
> While I don't entirely agree with you, I have tried to understand what you
> are saying from your perspective - an impossible but worthwhile aspiration
> in any circumstances. It is always interesting (if often painful) to learn
> how others see one, and you clearly have a long memory for my defects.
> But if I try to see the world from your side, I think it only fair that you
> try to see it from mine. For one thing, it is crystal clear that you have no
> inkling at all as to why a mere subscriber might take offence at attacks on
> the authors of the software, or that the use of certain terms might pain a
> reader, whoever they are used by and at whom directed. Where I see a world I
> only inhabit, you apparently see one which you want to control - no room
> there for diversity of comprehension, sadly.
> Whatever of that, I have at no time attempted to defend, excuse or justify
> my mistake - I have freely admitted it, and apologised for it. What is
> causing me the problem here is that I feel that I am being insulted and
> bullied, and I don't like it. The validity of your case (which I in no way
> dispute) is maligned by your rudeness and your threats, when the most I
> needed from you was your gentle reminder that my sarcastic one liners do not
> in fact help anybody's cause.
> I am at least two people - one of them wants simply to apologise and promise
> to try never to do something of the kind again, while the other is possessed
> by the need to assert that this is not because of being threatened. The
> anger which you hold makes resolution of this dichotomy impossible for me.
> You say that I have no right to be angry about the kind of post that
> initiated this thread, but I am not. I don't think you actually mean "right"
> here but, in any case, it is not anger that I have felt or feel now. Rather
> is there here another human who has his own life experience (clearly very
> much longer than yours, as it happens), and for whom the issue is rather one
> of hurt. And this human feels he has every "right" to be hurt - by the
> original poster, by your intemperate words, by your bullying behaviour.
> I have no clear idea as to why you think you will improve a situation by
> using threats and offensive language but doing so is your choice, just as it
> is my choice to continue to discuss the matter in spite of my risking being
> banned by doing so. I don't want to be banned, but neither do I want you or
> anyone else to think that I accept your threats as a valid basis for my
> behaviour choices.
> My closing position is that you are right that my action was childish (I
> believe I was the first to say so) and you are also right that I have erred
> in similar style in the past (which fact may indicate a personality defect
> similar to your own, although I believe we differ on which is actually
> poisonous). You are not right to bully or threaten me, not least because to
> do so is as ineffective and pointless as my childish remarks, and
> contradicts your own exhortation to be a nice person too.
> I have already apologised for causing the upset - I do so again now, without
> reservation. I will not enter into any contract not to fail in the same
> manner again as long as my doing so is conditioned by fear of the result,
> nor is there any need for me to do so since I have at no time attempted to
> justify this kind of action anyway and wouldn't perform it if I thought
> first. Your threats are empty, not because you won't carry them out but
> because they cannot achieve your purpose.
> If I have anything further to add to the thread, I will do so direct to
> yourself - notwithstanding that you have warned me against doing that too.
> Anyhow, it's late for Eid and early for Thanksgiving - tomorrow is the
> Birthday of the Bab so I wish all readers the most sincere greetings for
> that.
> Nick out…
>
> On 19 Oct 2010, at 00:30, Christopher Forsythe wrote:
>
> Every time I started to type this email, I found myself not being able
> to complete it, so I stepped away. I think you aren't reading what I'm
> saying how I'm thinking it in my head, so I'm going to reiterate it in
> a different manner. After this, this thread needs to die. If you are
> confused, reread this. I will be as clear here as I am ever going to
> be.
>
> When I thought about what kind of user you are to our community. I
> came to the conclusion that you are verging on being a poisonous
> person. Please see
> http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4216011961522818645# if you
> have not seen it already, it's an excellent talk about the type of
> person I think you are verging on becoming.
>
> The reason I say this is due to a pattern in responses which have no
> value, other than to be annoying. Here is a small list I found by just
> searching for about 3 minutes, I stopped looking once I hit 4 emails:
>
> http://groups.google.com/group/growldiscuss/msg/a19a2ff6a84ebdd8
> http://groups.google.com/group/growldiscuss/msg/872c304048d33e0a
> http://groups.google.com/group/growldiscuss/msg/74b285e15eb9ebf2
> http://groups.google.com/group/growldiscuss/msg/be17f47730a0cc5f
>
> Some common themes here are:
>
> - Lack of useful responses
> - Sarcasm verging on starting a heated discussion on a thread
> - Short responses
>
> This all said, you do provide some great feedback.When I found you
> provided the best feedback it was about your specific problems though.
>
> You responded to this user first. The user does not have a way to
> differentiate who represents the project, and who is merely a member
> of this mailing list/discussion group. As such, you represented this
> entire group. You did so in a very sarcastic manner, with none of the
> following:
>
> - No quality control.
> - No useful information to help the end user
> - No helping at all
>
>
> All of this to what end? No good one as far as I'm concerned. So no, I
> do not believe you were wishing him a Merry Christmas. I know you were
> in fact being a prick. Which is why I'm angry at you. You basically
> just gave us a worse name to this user than we already had to him.
> Which isn't a good place for us to be in, seeing how this can all be
> avoided very easily.
>
> Now, instead, you could have taken these actions, and not come across
> as someone who is simply out to make himself feel good for 2 seconds
> for a childish act:
>
> - Responded with the link to the article about this issue
> - Responded saying you understand, and providing details about how
> dropbox is actually doing this, and then how to remove Growl
> - Not responded at all
>
> These 3 responses at the very least would have been more beneficial
> than the response you chose to make.
>
> Since you decided to send your sarcastic email to the list publicly, I
> decided to reprimand you publicly. I will reiterate what I said
> earlier. Do not respond to end users in this manner. They do not
> deserve to be treated like this. We don't either, but their anger is
> just, only not justly directed. You however have no right to be angry
> about it, since it is not affecting you at all.
>
> I spent more time today thinking about this one thing than anything
> else. I have a six month old son who is better behaved than you are on
> this list. I'm not going to sit here and baby sit you, you need to be
> an adult here. I also want this thread to end, unless the original
> poster requires more assistance. However, since this thread was
> derailed, I've already started a direct email with him so he doesn't
> have to continue to deal with this.
>
> I have concluded that this is not acceptable behavior to tolerate for
> these issues. If you respond to another user in a sarcastic manner
> such as this, I will ban you. If you continue to make me have to
> respond to you after being very clear in this email, I will also ban
> you. If you choose to email me or any other member of the Growl
> project directly to complain about this, I will ban you. Basically,
> drop the issue, move on, and don't be a prick in the future, and we're
> all set.
>
> As far as I'm concerned, this should not have been how this user was
> handled. You made us look bad. You need to own up to that, and learn
> from it. I don't want to think about it anymore.
>
>
> --
>
> Nicholas J A Sanders
> ___________________
> semiotek
>
> +44 [0]7092 153 409
> [email protected]
> ___________________
>
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