Yea, stupid chain letters should get someone kicked off this list.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Kevin J. Anderson" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2001 3:42 PM
Subject: Re: [OT] Little Boy from Balaklavia
>
> kick this guy off the list, jesus. : D
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "PetitMorte" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2001 6:08 PM
> Subject: [OT] Little Boy from Balaklavia
>
>
> >
> >
> > >
> > >PLEASE HELP!
> > >
> > >This letter was composed by a little boy in Balaklavia who is dying
from
> > >lung cancer due to second hand smoke and drunk driving. Please forward
> this
> > >letter to as many people as you can, so that this little starving boy
> with
> > >no arms can get one last wish...To annoy as many people as possible
with
> > >e-mail. Please, for every time this mail gets sent, 3 cents will be
> donated
> > >to the Save-The-Starving-Little-Balaklavian-Boy-With-No-Arms Fund.
> Really.
> > >There is no realistic way that all the mails can be counted, but hey,
if
> > >you don't send this anyway, you're selfish and you're going straight to
> > >hell. Or maybe you'll come back in YOUR next life as a little
Balaklavian
> > >boy with no arms.
> > >
> > >Send this letter to as many people as you can.
> > >If you send it to...
> > >
> > >1 person -- 1 person will be pissed at you for sending another dumb
chain
> > >letter
> > >
> > >5 people -- 5 people will be pissed at you for sending another dumb
chain
> > >letter
> > >
> > >10 people -- 10 people will be pissed at you for sending another dumb
> chain
> > >letter
> > >
> > >15 people -- 15 people will be pissed at you for sending another dumb
> > >chain letter
> > >
> > >20 people -- 20 people will be pissed at you for sending another dumb
> chain
> > >letter
> > >
> > >30 people -- 30 people will be pissed at you for sending another dumb
> chain
> > >letter
> > >
> > >35 people -- 35 people will be pissed at you for sending another dumb
> chain
> > >letter
> > >
> > >40 people -- Your crush will ask you out on a date.
> > >
> > >41 people -- Your crush will ask you to have sex with him/her on Sesame
> > >Street.
> > >
> > >43 people -- Your crush will die, and be replaced with a new, better
> > >looking crush.
> > >
> > >44 1/2 people-Your crush will crush you with a huge boulder, and
> you'llget
> > >sick twisted jollies out of it.
> > >
> > >47 people -- Your crush will mutate and grow an extra arm, which he/she
> > >will use to perform bizarre sex acts on you.
> > >
> > >You MUST send at least 300 copies of this letter. If you don't an evil
> > >curse will be put on you. For instance, John Fargo of Fargo, PA
> > >deleted this mail as soon as he got it. Then he got up, called a
friend,
> and
> > >went to a movie, because he has a life. Or how about Lenore Poe, of
> > >Tromaville, who deleted this mail when she got it? She got into her car
> and
> > >drove to work. Or take poor Mr. Arnold Cartman, who accidentally only
> sent
> > >part of this letter to his crush. He died. So did his crush. Of course,
> > >that was because of all of the STDs. (They worked on Sesame Street.)
> > >
> > >Please send this letter to all your loser hacker friends. The little
> > >Balaklavian boy with no arms needs your help. Remember, as the Spice
> Girls
> > >once said, "I wanna really really really wanna zig a zig ah." Think
about
> > >it.
> > >
> > >
> > >PART II:
> > >
> > >What is a true friend?
> > >Here's a poem I wrote about being a friend. It's called, "Being a
> Friend."
> > >
> > >"Being a Friend"
> > >^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> > >A friend is someone you can count on
> > >A friend is someone who loves you all the time
> > >A friend is someone who loves you for who you are
> > >A friend is someone who loves you even though you're disgustingly ugly
> > >A friend is someone who smokes crack with you
> > >A friend is someone who sends you countless stupid chain e-mails
> > >A friend is someone who tells you if you smell like shit
> > >A friend is someone who tells all your other friends you smell like
shit
> > >A friend is someone who always holds on to you, even after the
> restraining
> > >order
> > >A friend is a person to douse in marshmallow fluff and then lick clean
> > >A friend is someone who comes to your house while you are out and
cleans
> > >Up for you, then picks up her check and leaves, and doesn't speak much
> > >English.
> > >
> > >Oh, wait, that's the cleaning lady.
> > >
> > >A friend is someone who pays for you cleaning lady
> > >A friend is someone who pays for your dominatrix
> > >A friend is someone who is a cleaning lady and a dominatrix on weekends
> > >A friend is someone who helps you kill starving Balaklavian boys
> > >A friend is someone who helps you devour the remains of your victims
> > >
> > >So next time you go drunk driving with a friend
> > >Remember that chain mail he sent you about how a friend
> > >Should never let his/her friend drive drunk
> > >And remember how many copies he/she sent you
> > >And when you crash into a telephone pole,
> > >Aim so that it hits the passenger side.
> > >
> > >I hope you liked the poem! Now send this to as many Balaklavian boys
that
> > >you are friends with, so that they don't drive drunk and so that if
they
> > >do, you won't have to face their ugly crack-whore moms, because you'll
> have
> > >escaped to Cuba with 5 kilos and a gat.
> > >
> > >
> > >PART III:
> > >
> > >:)
> > >:)
> > >:)
> > >:)
> > >:)
> > >:)
> > >:)
> > >
> > >This is the shining smiley-face Hawaiian totem of love. If you send it
to
> 5
> > >people within the next 3 minutes, you will get mad honeys. If you
> > >accidentally send it to 6 people instead, you will die instantly. Good
> > >Luck! :)
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >PART IV:
> > >
> > >LAST "GOODTIMES" VIRUS WARNING.
> > >
> > >Goodtimes will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will
> > >scramble any disks that aren't even close to your computer. It will
> > >re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream
> > >goes melty. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards,
> screw
> > >up the tracking on your television & VCR and use sub-space field
> harmonics
> > >to scratch any CD's you try to play. It will give your ex-girlfriend
> your
> > >new phone number. It will mix Kool-Aid into your fishtank. It will
> drink
> > >all your beer and leave its socks out on the coffee table when there's
> > >company coming over. It will put a dead cockroach in the back pocket
of
> > >your good suit pants and hide your car keys when you are late for work.
> > >Goodtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin. It will give you
> > >nightmares about circus midgets.
> > >
> > >It will pour sugar into your gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows
> > >while dating your girlfriend behind your back and billing the dinner &
> > >hotel room to your Discover card. It will slander your grandmother. It
> > >does not matter if she is dead or not, such is the power of
Goodtimes,it
> > >reaches out beyond the grave to sully those things we hold most dear.
It
> > >moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it. It
> will
> > >kick your dog. It will leave libidinous messages on your bosses voice
> mail
> > >in your voice. It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and
> terrifying
> > >to behold.
> > >
> > >It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve. Goodtimes will give
you
> > >Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet seat up. It will make a
> batch
> > >of Methanphedime in your bath tub and leave bacon cooking on your stove
> > >while it goes out to chase gradeschoolers with your new snowblower.
> >
> >
> >
>
>
>
>
