Sorry I don't waste my time on lame ass emails, that go "a little boy in
Balaklavia who is dying from lung cancer " Sure it might be true, but The
HLDS admin list is not the place for this..
Original Message -----
From: "Ryan McCullough" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2001 3:56 PM
Subject: RE: [OT] Little Boy from Balaklavia
>
> It wasn't really a chain letter. I am not saying I enjoyed seeing this
here,
> but this is an email making fun of chain letters. Read it through all the
> way.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: -=|^| klank |^|=- [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
> Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2001 3:50 PM
> To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> Subject: Re: [OT] Little Boy from Balaklavia
>
>
>
> Yea, stupid chain letters should get someone kicked off this list.
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Kevin J. Anderson" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2001 3:42 PM
> Subject: Re: [OT] Little Boy from Balaklavia
>
>
> >
> > kick this guy off the list, jesus. : D
> > ----- Original Message -----
> > From: "PetitMorte" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> > To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> > Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2001 6:08 PM
> > Subject: [OT] Little Boy from Balaklavia
> >
> >
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > > >PLEASE HELP!
> > > >
> > > >This letter was composed by a little boy in Balaklavia who is dying
> from
> > > >lung cancer due to second hand smoke and drunk driving. Please
forward
> > this
> > > >letter to as many people as you can, so that this little starving boy
> > with
> > > >no arms can get one last wish...To annoy as many people as possible
> with
> > > >e-mail. Please, for every time this mail gets sent, 3 cents will be
> > donated
> > > >to the Save-The-Starving-Little-Balaklavian-Boy-With-No-Arms Fund.
> > Really.
> > > >There is no realistic way that all the mails can be counted, but hey,
> if
> > > >you don't send this anyway, you're selfish and you're going straight
to
> > > >hell. Or maybe you'll come back in YOUR next life as a little
> Balaklavian
> > > >boy with no arms.
> > > >
> > > >Send this letter to as many people as you can.
> > > >If you send it to...
> > > >
> > > >1 person -- 1 person will be pissed at you for sending another dumb
> chain
> > > >letter
> > > >
> > > >5 people -- 5 people will be pissed at you for sending another dumb
> chain
> > > >letter
> > > >
> > > >10 people -- 10 people will be pissed at you for sending another dumb
> > chain
> > > >letter
> > > >
> > > >15 people -- 15 people will be pissed at you for sending another
dumb
> > > >chain letter
> > > >
> > > >20 people -- 20 people will be pissed at you for sending another dumb
> > chain
> > > >letter
> > > >
> > > >30 people -- 30 people will be pissed at you for sending another dumb
> > chain
> > > >letter
> > > >
> > > >35 people -- 35 people will be pissed at you for sending another dumb
> > chain
> > > >letter
> > > >
> > > >40 people -- Your crush will ask you out on a date.
> > > >
> > > >41 people -- Your crush will ask you to have sex with him/her on
Sesame
> > > >Street.
> > > >
> > > >43 people -- Your crush will die, and be replaced with a new, better
> > > >looking crush.
> > > >
> > > >44 1/2 people-Your crush will crush you with a huge boulder, and
> > you'llget
> > > >sick twisted jollies out of it.
> > > >
> > > >47 people -- Your crush will mutate and grow an extra arm, which
he/she
> > > >will use to perform bizarre sex acts on you.
> > > >
> > > >You MUST send at least 300 copies of this letter. If you don't an
evil
> > > >curse will be put on you. For instance, John Fargo of Fargo, PA
> > > >deleted this mail as soon as he got it. Then he got up, called a
> friend,
> > and
> > > >went to a movie, because he has a life. Or how about Lenore Poe, of
> > > >Tromaville, who deleted this mail when she got it? She got into her
car
> > and
> > > >drove to work. Or take poor Mr. Arnold Cartman, who accidentally
only
> > sent
> > > >part of this letter to his crush. He died. So did his crush. Of
course,
> > > >that was because of all of the STDs. (They worked on Sesame Street.)
> > > >
> > > >Please send this letter to all your loser hacker friends. The little
> > > >Balaklavian boy with no arms needs your help. Remember, as the Spice
> > Girls
> > > >once said, "I wanna really really really wanna zig a zig ah." Think
> about
> > > >it.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >PART II:
> > > >
> > > >What is a true friend?
> > > >Here's a poem I wrote about being a friend. It's called, "Being a
> > Friend."
> > > >
> > > >"Being a Friend"
> > > >^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> > > >A friend is someone you can count on
> > > >A friend is someone who loves you all the time
> > > >A friend is someone who loves you for who you are
> > > >A friend is someone who loves you even though you're disgustingly
ugly
> > > >A friend is someone who smokes crack with you
> > > >A friend is someone who sends you countless stupid chain e-mails
> > > >A friend is someone who tells you if you smell like shit
> > > >A friend is someone who tells all your other friends you smell like
> shit
> > > >A friend is someone who always holds on to you, even after the
> > restraining
> > > >order
> > > >A friend is a person to douse in marshmallow fluff and then lick
clean
> > > >A friend is someone who comes to your house while you are out and
> cleans
> > > >Up for you, then picks up her check and leaves, and doesn't speak
much
> > > >English.
> > > >
> > > >Oh, wait, that's the cleaning lady.
> > > >
> > > >A friend is someone who pays for you cleaning lady
> > > >A friend is someone who pays for your dominatrix
> > > >A friend is someone who is a cleaning lady and a dominatrix on
weekends
> > > >A friend is someone who helps you kill starving Balaklavian boys
> > > >A friend is someone who helps you devour the remains of your victims
> > > >
> > > >So next time you go drunk driving with a friend
> > > >Remember that chain mail he sent you about how a friend
> > > >Should never let his/her friend drive drunk
> > > >And remember how many copies he/she sent you
> > > >And when you crash into a telephone pole,
> > > >Aim so that it hits the passenger side.
> > > >
> > > >I hope you liked the poem! Now send this to as many Balaklavian boys
> that
> > > >you are friends with, so that they don't drive drunk and so that if
> they
> > > >do, you won't have to face their ugly crack-whore moms, because
you'll
> > have
> > > >escaped to Cuba with 5 kilos and a gat.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >PART III:
> > > >
> > > >:)
> > > >:)
> > > >:)
> > > >:)
> > > >:)
> > > >:)
> > > >:)
> > > >
> > > >This is the shining smiley-face Hawaiian totem of love. If you send
it
> to
> > 5
> > > >people within the next 3 minutes, you will get mad honeys. If you
> > > >accidentally send it to 6 people instead, you will die instantly.
Good
> > > >Luck! :)
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >PART IV:
> > > >
> > > >LAST "GOODTIMES" VIRUS WARNING.
> > > >
> > > >Goodtimes will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will
> > > >scramble any disks that aren't even close to your computer. It will
> > > >re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice
cream
> > > >goes melty. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards,
> > screw
> > > >up the tracking on your television & VCR and use sub-space field
> > harmonics
> > > >to scratch any CD's you try to play. It will give your
ex-girlfriend
> > your
> > > >new phone number. It will mix Kool-Aid into your fishtank. It will
> > drink
> > > >all your beer and leave its socks out on the coffee table when
there's
> > > >company coming over. It will put a dead cockroach in the back pocket
> of
> > > >your good suit pants and hide your car keys when you are late for
work.
> > > >Goodtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin. It will give
you
> > > >nightmares about circus midgets.
> > > >
> > > >It will pour sugar into your gas tank and shave off both your
eyebrows
> > > >while dating your girlfriend behind your back and billing the dinner
&
> > > >hotel room to your Discover card. It will slander your grandmother.
It
> > > >does not matter if she is dead or not, such is the power of
> Goodtimes,it
> > > >reaches out beyond the grave to sully those things we hold most dear.
> It
> > > >moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it. It
> > will
> > > >kick your dog. It will leave libidinous messages on your bosses voice
> > mail
> > > >in your voice. It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and
> > terrifying
> > > >to behold.
> > > >
> > > >It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve. Goodtimes will give
> you
> > > >Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet seat up. It will make a
> > batch
> > > >of Methanphedime in your bath tub and leave bacon cooking on your
stove
> > > >while it goes out to chase gradeschoolers with your new snowblower.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> >
> >
> >
> >
>
>
>
>
>
