I wonder is it a clarinet thing?  We had a similar experience.  Our
clarinetist would tap his foot in time to the music.  No,  tap is too gentle
a term.  He'd pound his foot.  As we were on risers at the time, our music
stand would start to wobble to match his foot pounding.  We did ask him to
try and stop.  He tried. The problem did not continue because for one reason
or the other he left out band.

You could try the Teamster method.  Find two really big, muscular, fellows
and have them visit the said clarinetists.  "We understand you have a
problem with 'woodwind-itis.'  "We're that problem." 

-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf
Of M Bender
Sent: Saturday, April 02, 2011 9:09 AM
To: The Horn List
Subject: [Hornlist] Bad woodwind-itis cure sought!

Help!

There is a member of the woodwind section [clarinet] in our orchestra who
suffers from a very severe case of 'woodwind-itis', to the point where his
spasmodic movements are throwing off the entire wind section.

During a rehearsal for an upcoming performance of Mendelssohn's Midsummer
Night's Dream, he actually took his left hand from his instrument and began
conducting from his seat, as he was swaying back and forth. This occurred
during the Nocturne, and unfortunately, I sit right behind the clarinet
section. I'd rather not have two conductors to look at; one is quite enough!

In the Overture, at the moment of the donkey calls, he partially rises in
his seat, in time with the 'braying donkey'... which was admittedly sort of
funny at the first rehearsal, but, frankly has become annoying as hell.

Other members of the orchestra have commented about this, but no one seems
to be able to offer a workable solution to curtail these contortions. He's a
good player and all, but, alas, it's getting ridiculous. I can only imagine
what this must look like from the audience's perspective-- this twitching,
bobbing up-and-down, buffoon-like clarinetist. All he needs is the red nose
and the Bozo the Clown hair...

Short of firing the guy, I'd appreciate any hints on how this affliction
might be remedied.

Cheers,
martin bender

"All great things are decided not by machines or gadgets, but by willpower;
whoever has it will finally prevail." Winston Churchill




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