Yes, the major issue is the non-deliverable bounces that are forwarded from
their mail servers after 3 attempts.  Unfortunately, since I'm not able to
monitor the status of their mail servers and I don't always have access to
my servers (on an airplane, at a fire, etc.) I have to leave the queue time
high enough to handle a long holiday weekend without intervention
If they aren't going to fix their mail server over a long weekend, they why take it upon yourself to encumber your mailserver **year-round** with these extremely long queue lifetimes? ok, that's clearly getting into you customer politics and policies and $$$, but now you know, more comletely perhaps, the serious downside of 5 day queue timeouts.

Your Imail bouncing their incoming as undeliverable is perfectly acceptable behavior. It it no way confers any blame or fault on your Imail. The envelope sender sees the bounce msg, preferably after a few hours, and can always resend the msg, which is hardly the end of the world.

What would be ideal of course is a system that could differentiate between
the store and forward which I'd like to hold for up to 5 days and the
outbound relay which I'd like to kill after a couple of hours.
yep, that level of knob twisting would be nice, but don't hold your breath that Imail 8 will offer it. Even with postfix's 300 params, the queue lifetime is only per-server.

Len


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