Ok, this is still not solving the problem
How do you know? Are you saying that you closed your open relay, and spammers are still able to send out mail?
I'm not blacklisted because I sometimes cannot send to a server that I run on annother network.
Huh?
That doesn't mean that you are not blacklisted. If you are running an open relay and/or have been sending out spam, you are very likely listed in several spam databases. Go to http://www.DNSstuff.com and enter the IP address of your mailserver in the "Spam Database Lookup" tool to find out which you are listed in.
What also makes no sence is when I start then stop SMTP I can suddenly send to host that were not working only moments before.
You're going to have to give us more information.
You've got a huge load on your server, and stopping/restarting the SMTP service could cause the queue runs to stop, which would mean that new outgoing E-mail will go out until the server gets overloaded again.
So you need to explain why you couldn't send to the host moments before (did you get a bounce message? If so, what did it say? What do your log files say about the E-mail you couldn't deliver?).
If it was a blacklist I'm sure that they would not suddenly start accepting mail because I stopped and started SMTP.
You're almost certainly in some spam databases if you are an open relay, and if you have been sending out spam.
And, from the information you have provided, it is impossible to say why the *specific* E-mail you are referring to wasn't delivered. We can only guess until you provide details as to why it wasn't delivered. :)
-Scott
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