I have been trying to do this for some time, but today I have finally managed to complete all the necessary paperwork and jump through the myriad required hoops such that I can announce that I have managed to purchase the rights, licenses and companies of all the players in the MV market in a much needed industry consolidation move.
It has long been my contention that having 11 or 12 products trying to compete for the 74 companies that still use MV databases is somewhat overkill. But, I was able to get together with my richer friends and finance the purchase of all the companies in MV space for prices that of course cannot be disclosed because of commercial sensitivity. I am therefore pleased to announce that I am not the owner of all versions of the MV system, lock, stock and smoking barrels, effective 4/1/2010. Now that IBM have abandoned their U2 products in favor of the oh-so-brilliantly-named Rocket software (does nobody think these things through?), I was able to buy Rocket software for USD25K and a year's supply of M&Ms. I was a bit luckier with Tiger Logic, who settled for just the M&Ms and a free bus pass for my mate John Bramley. jBASE International took a bit more convincing and I had to out-drink the entire staff, the management, then win an arm wrestling contest, followed by a game of antlers and a follow up best of 3 Nottingham knuckles contest. I only just scraped through on that one! OpenVM fell to a few arithmetical tricks concerning what you can say about benchmarks and a game of blackjack. While I thought that Intersystems might be a tricky one, it turned out that all had to do was prove to Terry that super-string theory was real, which I did by calling heads and tails simultaneously 2048 times in a row and winning because of a bounce off an m-brane, which won me the company. All other contenders fell in similar but less entertaining fashion, leaving me the Absolute Premier Ruler In Law of the MV world. All hail the supreme leader. As all the names for MV database products are completely stupid except ones that begin with 'j', I have abandoned all prior products, which will be replaced with my new source code base f001, which is productized using the name jGoBlazers, which you must purchase with the jLUFCAreMagicForestAreTragic support package. I look forward to taking you, sorry... having you as customers with effect from Midnight last night. Mine's a large one. Jim Idle f001 Team Leader -- Please read the posting guidelines at: http://groups.google.com/group/jBASE/web/Posting%20Guidelines IMPORTANT: Type T24: at the start of the subject line for questions specific to Globus/T24 To post, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe, send email to [email protected] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/jBASE?hl=en To unsubscribe, reply using "remove me" as the subject.
