Finally, a little insanity in an all to sane world.
Jim Idle wrote:
I have been trying to do this for some time, but today I have finally
managed to complete all the necessary paperwork and jump through the
myriad required hoops such that I can announce that I have managed to
purchase the rights, licenses and companies of all the players in the
MV market in a much needed industry consolidation move.
It has long been my contention that having 11 or 12 products trying to
compete for the 74 companies that still use MV databases is somewhat
overkill. But, I was able to get together with my richer friends and
finance the purchase of all the companies in MV space for prices that
of course cannot be disclosed because of commercial sensitivity. I am
therefore pleased to announce that I am not the owner of all versions
of the MV system, lock, stock and smoking barrels, effective 4/1/2010.
Now that IBM have abandoned their U2 products in favor of the
oh-so-brilliantly-named Rocket software (does nobody think these
things through?), I was able to buy Rocket software for USD25K and a
year’s supply of M&Ms.
I was a bit luckier with Tiger Logic, who settled for just the M&Ms
and a free bus pass for my mate John Bramley.
jBASE International took a bit more convincing and I had to out-drink
the entire staff, the management, then win an arm wrestling contest,
followed by a game of antlers and a follow up best of 3 Nottingham
knuckles contest. I only just scraped through on that one!
OpenVM fell to a few arithmetical tricks concerning what you can say
about benchmarks and a game of blackjack.
While I thought that Intersystems might be a tricky one, it turned out
that all had to do was prove to Terry that super-string theory was
real, which I did by calling heads and tails simultaneously 2048 times
in a row and winning because of a bounce off an m-brane, which won me
the company.
All other contenders fell in similar but less entertaining fashion,
leaving me the Absolute Premier Ruler In Law of the MV world. All hail
the supreme leader.
As all the names for MV database products are completely stupid except
ones that begin with ‘j’, I have abandoned all prior products, which
will be replaced with my new source code base f001, which is
productized using the name jGoBlazers, which you must purchase with
the jLUFCAreMagicForestAreTragic support package.
I look forward to taking you, sorry… having you as customers with
effect from Midnight last night. Mine’s a large one.
Jim Idle
f001 Team Leader
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