And of course a very happy April Fool's Day to you too, Jim! -Gary-
On Thu, Apr 1, 2010 at 2:13 PM, Jim Idle <[email protected]> wrote: > I have been trying to do this for some time, but today I have finally > managed to complete all the necessary paperwork and jump through the myriad > required hoops such that I can announce that I have managed to purchase the > rights, licenses and companies of all the players in the MV market in a much > needed industry consolidation move. > > > > It has long been my contention that having 11 or 12 products trying to > compete for the 74 companies that still use MV databases is somewhat > overkill. But, I was able to get together with my richer friends and finance > the purchase of all the companies in MV space for prices that of course > cannot be disclosed because of commercial sensitivity. I am therefore > pleased to announce that I am not the owner of all versions of the MV > system, lock, stock and smoking barrels, effective 4/1/2010. > > > > Now that IBM have abandoned their U2 products in favor of the > oh-so-brilliantly-named Rocket software (does nobody think these things > through?), I was able to buy Rocket software for USD25K and a year’s supply > of M&Ms. > > > > I was a bit luckier with Tiger Logic, who settled for just the M&Ms and a > free bus pass for my mate John Bramley. > > > > jBASE International took a bit more convincing and I had to out-drink the > entire staff, the management, then win an arm wrestling contest, followed by > a game of antlers and a follow up best of 3 Nottingham knuckles contest. I > only just scraped through on that one! > > > > OpenVM fell to a few arithmetical tricks concerning what you can say about > benchmarks and a game of blackjack. > > > > While I thought that Intersystems might be a tricky one, it turned out that > all had to do was prove to Terry that super-string theory was real, which I > did by calling heads and tails simultaneously 2048 times in a row and > winning because of a bounce off an m-brane, which won me the company. > > > > All other contenders fell in similar but less entertaining fashion, leaving > me the Absolute Premier Ruler In Law of the MV world. All hail the supreme > leader. > > > > As all the names for MV database products are completely stupid except ones > that begin with ‘j’, I have abandoned all prior products, which will be > replaced with my new source code base f001, which is productized using the > name jGoBlazers, which you must purchase with the > jLUFCAreMagicForestAreTragic support package. > > > > I look forward to taking you, sorry… having you as customers with effect > from Midnight last night. Mine’s a large one. > > > > Jim Idle > > f001 Team Leader > > -- > Please read the posting guidelines at: > http://groups.google.com/group/jBASE/web/Posting%20Guidelines > > IMPORTANT: Type T24: at the start of the subject line for questions specific > to Globus/T24 > > To post, send email to [email protected] > To unsubscribe, send email to [email protected] > For more options, visit this group at > http://groups.google.com/group/jBASE?hl=en > -- Please read the posting guidelines at: http://groups.google.com/group/jBASE/web/Posting%20Guidelines IMPORTANT: Type T24: at the start of the subject line for questions specific to Globus/T24 To post, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe, send email to [email protected] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/jBASE?hl=en To unsubscribe, reply using "remove me" as the subject.
