[EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:

>
> More nauseatingly self aggrandizement.  Loathe this pig.

Thank you Bob for using this quote in a way that made me laugh!  I am
going to get T-shirts made...

9-11, yesterday was the 25th anniversary of my ordination.

I proposed and co-produced our community September 11th service - we had
about 675 people present, I live in a town of 8,000, do the math on the
percentage - what would anyone do?  You all know my politics - very
leftist Democrat in small town Republican western Michigan - and you
know that a certain percentage of this community thinks that I am a
spawn of Satan because I am <gasp> gay and <gasp> Christian and <gasp
gasp gasp> an open and out pastor.  Gossip loves it even more because I
work full time to support my ministry to adults in foster care, working
full time as legal assistant and office manager for the love of my life
and my former partner, the former city attorney, who is slowly sinking
off the deep end with this own madness and his little whore.  And in a
small town like this, everything is hidden, but nothing is secret.

All I heard today was from people who were not at our community service,
who told me that they heard how good it was, I can truly say it was the
talk of the town - the service went from 6:30 until 9:00 and maybe 10
people at most left  early and it ended with the people in a standing
ovation.  The service skillfully avoided politics, controversy, and
satisfied the small peace contingent in the community, and our American
Legion/VFW folks... a whole slew of Republican county people came to me
and thanked me for what we did last night and they don't do that easy
here, not thanking me, the vice chair of the local county Dems and a
candidate in the last county election.   The Bush campaign people
thanked me, so you know I hit the right note of being non-partisan,
which may astound you who read my political posts, but actually, I have
a bit of a reputation for knowing when and where to be partisan and when
and where not to be, and last night was not the time or place.

We were perhaps the only memorial service in all of America that did NOT
sing God Bless America , no flags, or do anything jingoistic or
chauvinistic in its original sense - and I worked damned hard to have it
come out that way, and even more, for no one to notice what we didn't do
because they were enthralled, moved, touched by what we did.   I think
almost everyone cried at some point last night, because what we did was
effective.  My entire congregation was there, in the wheelchairs, and
the only African American family in the community, my people, there at
the service,

And I chanted the litany - 10 minutes of me singing  - you all never
heard me sing, I cannot sing, I cannot hold key, but I chant beautifully
(took voice lessons to learn how) but it takes me a lot, a lot, a lot of
practice so I can hold key, and breathing exercises and I drank a gallon
of water before the service to keep my throat moist,  and I have never
done it before a crowd that size and I haven't done the litany in maybe
15 years and I was doing it with an organist who had never done it.
Performers out there - how do you feel when you go out for the biggest
performance of your life with a musician whom you only met two days
before, with whom you never worked, and with whom you had less than 5
minutes of practice, who had never played what you were doing?

Damn straight I nailed it!

Given everything, to stand before a crowd of that much of my community,
on such a day, with all the emotion involved,  knowing what some folks
think of me - to do a liturgical chant that was new to many of them, let
alone by organist - and sing out, Lord, have mercy - Christ have mercy -
Lord have mercy...

the choir, seated right behind me, fell into my rhythm and I led, they
answered, I led, they answered, it flowed, it was beautiful.

Now I could tell you about all the times in other services that I hit
wrong notes, but you performers out there, you know what it is that I
felt, the same pride that Paz showed in his Ruth Paz tapes, that same
moment that you really want to come through and so much is riding on it
and you know you nailed it, you know one time you got it right in the
most daunting of circumstances - and when you have that joy of having
done well, you share it with your friends -

so I bragged a bit last night in my post.  As I am now.  I have heard
the word "arrogant" applied to me - self aggrandizement would be another
term -

Bob Seger sings of being on stage, trying to give yourself way - pastor,
singer, actor, whatever, we know when we hit it it, and when we miss.
Last night was my grand slam, the service as a whole, the sung litany...

I unwound last night going off a bit on the Edmund Fitzgerald.  More
know it all Vince going on and on and on as if he knows everything,
yeah, I know.  Lay on my bed, prop the pillow, and you will see a large
poster of The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.  To your left, a framed
picture of the Edmund Fitz on the St Claire River. To your right, a
framed picture of the Straits of Mackinac, and of the last ferry boat
before the bridge was built, and I am old enough to have ridden that
ferry boat.  Sit at my computer where the most important books in my
life are all in arms reach, and to my left, on the shelves next to my
next, Great Lakes Shipwrecks and Survivors, the Edmund Fitzgerald
edition, by Wm. Ratigan which is next to, can you guess which Gordon
Lightfoot song is being quoted, The Gales of November, by Robt. J.
Hemming.  They are next to my extensive Titanic collection, which is a
warning to never start a discussion on Titanic...

[Gage story: my grandchild can tell you what an orlop deck is, where the
squash court was located, the tensile strength of 1912 steel in ice cold
water because of its carbon content, and we have a weekly ritual of
looking at the piece of coal that was on the Titanic that I bought at
the Chicago exhibit in 2000 - and he is proud because he is the only
person in the world who knows where I keep my Titanic coal hidden so it
will not get lost.]

And this is another long Vince post, how boring, but let me tell you,
for all the stuff that i have posted on, I do not post on:

Joni tunings - I have no idea what an open tuning is, since I do play
guitar or any instrument other than 1 finger piano, which i play to
practice chanting and sound out new hymns

Joni lyrics - not since 1999, when I misread A case of You and was so
soundly embarrassed I have never ventured a Joni lyric interpretation
again

martinis or other drinks - I am allergic to alcohol (no problem, very
economical) so I know nothing about mixed drinks

Jonatha Brooke or other artists not in Rolling Stone top ten album
sales, because I have never heard of 90% of the artists everyone loves,
but you do know I will wax eloquently on how Eminem is the Mozart of our
generation and Linkin Park are the prophets of our age.

Jazz.  Like sprouts and hummus, I know it is good for me, but not on my
plate, in my lifetime.  I don't understand it, like it, and I know it is
my limitation so I say nothing about it.

David Lynch movies.  Cinema slut I am, I don't like his work but I don't
say anything because as Eminem's mother said, if you can't say something
nice, then shut the fuck up.

Gourmet dining/cooking/chic restaurants.  With all of my food allergies,
the #1 item in my refrigerator is non fat soy milk, not a gourmet item,
and I am too cheap to buy any food in a restaurant that costs more than
what I make in one hour of work - plus I couldn't it anyway probably.

Cats.  I never post on cats.  Had two good cats, the only good cats that
ever lived, they died, no other cat is worth having in my opinion, and
as Eminem's mother said...

Cricket.  Soccer.  Rugby.  Know nothing.  Say nothing.

French poets.  I never post on French poets.  Or 18th century English
poets.  I can do a riff on late 20th century Russian poets, but to
whom?  So I never post on these topics.

Joni concerts other than the three I have been at.  Joni trivia,  Which
version of MOA has what spoken dialogue.  I just don't know!

Cars.

Star Trek.

Rodeos.

County western music.

Foreign travel.  (I have been to Canada a few times; Mags, here is your
Canada mention, I can vouch, Canada exists.)

Gay porn, Joni body parts, Joni's private life, Joni's partners, male
anatomy, animal husbandry, sound systems, how to cut a cd, problems with
anything Microsoft.  These have all been threads in the JMDL at some
point since I joined in late 98, not sure why some of them were threads
at all, and I avoided all of them.  Never posted to them.  Either knew
nothing, thought it was in bad taste, or thought it was none of my
business.

So this is just a nauseating sample of the things that I do not post
about.  And never will.

I always post on the anniversary of Janis Joplin's death and Kent State
and Martin Luther King's death, but those are always one-line posts.

So next time I am boring the hell out of someone, and aggravating you
with my know it all ism or my arrogance about what I do post about, be
thankful that there is such a list of these and other topics that I will
never post about.  But know that when I do post, it is not because I
like to show off my knowledge or else I would do a comparative analysis
of the western liturgy in the Roman, Anglican, Lutheran, Reformed, and
other protestant traditions, or the conflict between pietism and
Grundtvig's teachings in 19th century Denmark and 20th century Danish
American communities.  But I have never posted on those subjects, never
will.  I always post because someone has posted something that gets me
thinking, and I share that with my friends, my Joni family.  And if you
don't like what I post, you have the option of being really cheerful
when you delete my posts, or set up your filters to delete all my posts
as they come in so they are never in your inbox.   Or tell me privately
what an asshole I am.  Because sometimes I am and I need to know that,
too.

Speaking of obscure artists I know nothing about: Linda Thompson is on
Letterman right now, and I don't get it, even having read the extensive
Tribune articles about her, and hearing the NPR show on her, and  all,
she is someone else who I know is a great artist and it escapes me.  If
i were booking for Letterman's show, I would book all the JoniFest acts,
and Linkin Park, and Eminem, and Aretha Franklin, and Neil Young, and
Joni.   And all the rap groups I love.  Maybe that is why I am stuck
here in rural western Michigan, being such a bore in cyber space, you
think?

boring and arrogant as ever,

Vince
who will not be here for a dew days, so your prayers have been
answered!  Off to Chicago to see the Stones.

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