Catherine McKay wrote: > > I've been reading the posts about "Talk to me" and, as > usual, I can see both sides (now and then.) Debra Shea > doesn't like it because she thinks Joni is kowtowing > and that the person Joni is talking to doesn't deserve > her. I hope I read that right. And I agree.
Yes, that's exactly what I meant. > And yet... this sounds like a woman newly in love who > wants to know everything about this man - and he's > just not giving. I've learned, intellectually anyway, that when someone's not giving in the giddy beginning that person will not ever be giving. Or, he may be giving in HIS way, maybe he bought her a drink or whatever, but he's obviously not giving in the way Joni needs and is asking for. So she really is wasting her time. Strikes an emotional chord with me. And unlike other Joni songs, the message is not countered with anything else, which would make it more interesting and tolerable for me. It's just her begging. I hate that (yeah, I know, I'm repeating myself, but really I hate that) and, most likely, whoever she's making the request (demand?) of will hate it too. Move on Joni. There are more generous men out there. Joni's been wise in her choice of men, or at least the ones we know about, and I get the impression she moves on easily so this "talk to me" is unusual for her. > After it's all over, that's when you sit back and say, > "Jeez, I wish I hadn't said that - I wish I hadn't > done that - the bastard wasn't worth it". But then, > don't you just go and do it again? How human. A big YES to that, which, of course, is why the song annoys me so much. I've done that more times than I can count. I'm now consciously trying to be more comfortable with the generous men I'm meeting. Weird, huh? to have to make a conscious effort at what would be naturally enjoyable behavior for other people. I've tended to be interested in the men who aren't giving, for whatever reason. Some detrimental lessons are so ingrained it takes forever to even know they're there, and then to try to "relearn"... not easy. I never liked the song, but it wasn't until about ten years ago I realized I hated it and never wanted to hear it again, and started wondering why my reaction to it was so strong... not that I could instantly change my ways, but at least it was a start... Anyone else have a life-lesson experience from a Joni song? Debra Shea NPIMH: ... but, you know, life is for learning.... thanks, Joni. You're an excellent big sister.
