In a message dated 9/22/00 11:17:24 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
[EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:
<< Now, we read that the couple is breaking up. This leaves two young
children
who now face the trauma of divorce, the confusion of non-traditional
parental gender roles, the unorthodox self-image of being "manufactured,"
and probably a total lack of any kind of identification with 95% of the
heterosexual world. >>
Maybe we should look at the larger social problem that you have described
here. Perhaps the problem has more to do with the inability of some people
to accept anyone who is different from them. I, for one, don't have a
problem with the fact that these children have divorced parents (I am
saddened that these two women reached a point where they felt the need to
dissolve their union--sad for the pain they must be going thru). As for the
children being "manufactured", it makes me think that these two women (or any
straight couple that goes thru the process) really wanted to have children.
As for "the confusion of non-traditional parental gender roles", I hope that
we have made some progress in this area, and have seen that there is more
than one way to be a family, and that individuals shouldn't be locked into
roles because of their sex. A child's self-image comes from how they are
treated by their parents and the world, and not because of how they were
conceived.
<<Anyone with divorced parents (and there are many of us now) faces some
difficulties. >>
True. But it is worse for a child to be raised in a home that is full of
discord.
<>
Again, this points to a societal problem that must be addressed.
<< I pray that both these women take a good look at the impact their decisions
are going to have and start focusing on the children. >>
Difficult for me to respond to--I don't personally know these women, but I'll
give them the benefit of the doubt, and I'm willing to bet that they have
given a great deal of thought as to the impact that this will have on their
children.
<>
To the contrary, I am proud that these women have had the courage to end
their relationship if it wasn't working.
<<When they announced the details of their birth, I tried hard to believe that
these women were doing something good. I overlooked the fact that there are
thousands of children crying out to be adopted. I suppressed my objections
to the social unorthodoxy of physically transplanting selected sperms and
selected egg into selected womb. I sought to believe their decision was
natural and loving, though their publicizing it seemed more unnatural and
political. I desperately attempted to understand why they would reveal
something so personal that would be totally offensive to the religious
beliefs of so many people.>>
Again, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt--I'm certain they felt that
they were doing something "good". As for the children who need adopting,
understand that as a gay couple, it is next to impossible to adopt as a
couple (there have been one or two cases where this has happened, but
generally, one member of the couple has to adopt the child, leaving the other
parent with no legal rights). With regard to your comment that they chose to
do something that was so "totally offensive to the religious beliefs of so
many people", I doubt that this was their intent. And while it might have
offended the religious beliefs of some, I question the implied assumption
that "religious beliefs" trump other "rights" of individuals. One could
argue, that many prejudices are "promoted" by some religions and/or religious
leaders--this offends and harms me as a gay man.
<<Am I too closed minded here? >>
Why do you ask this question? If you are asking it, I would question that on
some level you feel you are. IMHO, yes.
I will defend your right to have your opinions and to express them. I don't
agree with what you are saying, but you have every right to post your opinion
on this list.
Stephen
