> Here we have some gay-related NJC, generated by a straight. AND NOT
ONE WORD
> from anyone about its appropriateness on the list.
> Two years later,
> I
> REST
> MY
> CASE
>
> Roberto,
I wasn't going to weigh in on this thread but after reading Roberto's
eloquent post this morning & taking into account all of Michael's &
Colin's thoughtful words on the subject, I somehow feel I have to.
It's unfortunate that the actions of a high profile couple who just
happen to be a same sex couple lead some people to draw erroneous
conclusions about an entire segment of society. Never mind the
countless times we've read about the outrageous & truly reprehensible
behavior of public figures who are heterosexual. When a lesbian
couple has children by unconventional means and then breaks up, too
many people shake their heads & fall back on the old misconceptions
that 'those people', meaning all gay or lesbian people, are
irresponsible, flaky and incapable of sustaining meaningful
relationships. So, unfair as it is, I think it's true that the split
between Melissa & Julie does create bad 'publicity' for the gay rights
movement.
However, I don't think anybody has the right to expect Melissa & Julie
to live exemplary lives for the sake of gay rights. They are mere
mortals, after all, in spite of the spot light that shines so
glaringly on them. And I agree with all the others who have written
that none of us knows the circumstances of the breakup or how the
couple is handling it with regard to their children. People should
know better than to make broad generalizations out of a small kernel
of truth but unfortunately ignorance and some of the more negative
aspects of human nature lead them to do just that.
Finally I have to comment on Roberto's remarks at the end of his post.
I have been on this discussion list since the beginning. I've seen
flame wars flare up & die down and people leave the list because of
hurt feelings, time & again. One bone of contention that has come up
over & over again is the 'NJC' controversy. Now that we have an
alternative for 'only Joni' people, the problem doesn't come up much
anymore. But before the existence of a separate list it was
remarkable how some NJC threads could run on for days & days and
no-one raised one little peep of an objection. But just about every
time that I can remember, whenever there was a discussion that
involved any kind of gay issue or topic, it wasn't very long before
somebody complained about it being 'too much NJC' or 'can we move on
from this topic, please?'
So as much as it pains me to say so, I have to say that I believe that
what Roberto said is true. Some NJC topics are ok and some are not.
It's a dreary thing to feel like you can't talk openly and freely
about yourself without catching flak for it.
Of course, the only thing to do is to go on talking anyway. I also
believe that there are many people here who are not narrow in their
thinking and don't want to censor anybody who isn't deliberately
trying to be offensive. Those people are the reason I've continued to
participate in the JMDL.
Mark in Seattle
