Ashara wrote:
I simply stated that I missed the JMDL community I have
grown to know and love, and I am so tired, so very tired of the petty wars,
and unkind comments no matter who they are aimed at.
===
I agree 100% with your sentiment, Ashara.
But, having been on the list for about three years, I don't EVER remember a
time when the list didn't have flare-ups like this, and worse.
What you say about the past list having disagreements without being nasty is
simply not true, sadly.
As a matter of fact, at one point, just before the BSN tour, I was so
thoroughly criticized and belittled by about a dozen list members, that I
set my computer to forward any message containing a reference to the JMDL to
my Recycle Bin for months. I even considered not attending the little
pre-show party at David Lahm's Judy's Chelsea gig. In fact, I almost gave
my Joni concert tickets away. I reconsidered, and I'm glad I went.
Eventually, I started reading the JMDL posts regularly again, too.
I recall being called many rude names in just a few days' posts and private
e-mails, because of something I wrote that wasn't even negative -- I merely
defended some aspects of the "religious right." I didn't support them or
say that I agreed with them, I just said I could see where they were coming
from. Boy was I nailed for it.
I also distinctly remember that a few people who are claiming outrage about
the recent negative posts, Marcel's use of the word "bimbo," and sadness at
Kakki's departures were the SAME people who tore me to shreds back them.
And I do recall being called a "homophobe" and "fascist" by one person who
recently posted how sad it was that people stoop to calling each other nasty
names and how sorry to hear about Kakki's leaving. Funny how that works,
isn't it?
So, actually, my observation is that the list has become much MORE POLITE as
it progressed over the years -- some of the arguments used to be really
intense. Some of the name calling was downright juvenile. And some of the
disagreements were a hell of a lot fiercer than mere "petty wars."
That's why I bothered to write, Ashara. OK, granted, you didn't threaten to
leave -- technically I misquoted you -- you didn't say you were going to
leave, you said you felt like leaving, and semantically they're not the
exact same thing. (I stand by my interpretation, though.)
You say that's how you feel, and I accept and respect that. But, I don't
understand, and you haven't answered my question... Why? Why now? Why
after all the years of flame throwing on the list, did Kakki suddenly decide
to leave because of one rude post, which may have been said in jest to begin
with?
Oddly, I think that the list has become so "civilized" that I actually feel
comfortable writing to it again. And you're complaining that it's not what
it used to be?
Don't get me wrong -- I am a firm believer that we need to speak in love and
peace to ALL people. Our words are powerful tools and should be used to
glorify, not destroy. I have often spoken out against the negativity, too.
I consider a few people -- you Ashara, Vince, Michael Paz -- to be exemplary
examples of positive people and positive posters. Rarely do you say
anything negative, and if you do criticize, you are kind about it.
However, I also know a few people on the list who say negative things in
jest because they have that kind of sense of humor. And, some of their
tartest comments and most outrageous bouts of sarcasm have been met with
responses like "LOL" and "ROTFLOL."
What am I missing here? Can't we have human failings anymore?
I wish everyone who's writing such peace-loving sentiments and condemning
negative comments of all kinds would go easy on all the emotional
maneuvering for my sake! I'm only a stupid, fascist, redneck, right wing
conservative, homophobic asshole. Remember?
Confused to his rotten, little, petty, sometimes sarcastic, but truly
open-minded, core,
Harper Lou
