One detail I left out:

On Sat, Oct 19, 2013 at 2:02 PM, Seth Johnson <[email protected]> wrote:
> On Fri, Oct 18, 2013 at 12:04 PM, Edward K. Ream <[email protected]> wrote:
>> P.S. This probably concludes most of the writing and reorganization of the
>> docs. Still to do: adding more links and adding index-related markup.
>
>
> Just know that you're back to lots of points, not a message and an
> illustration of that message.  The following are the closest you get:
>
>
> http://leoeditor.com/ :
>
> Leo is an outliner program whose outline node can hold any kind of
> data. The following unusual features make Leo an unusually powerful
> PIM, IDE and data organizer
>
> (This is brief, but almost qualifies as an overall statement -- except
> [true to form] you use it to then list a set of bullet points that
> aren't going to serve to bring clarity to a newcomer)
>
> (For example, if it said almost the same, it could then give newcomers
> a quick path in:)
>
> <example>
> Leo is an outliner program whose outline node can hold any kind of
> data. It is an unusually powerful PIM, IDE and data organizer.
> Whether you're a regular user or a programmer, you can start using it
> once you learn how to work with the outline, use clones, connect it to
> external files and use it to produce documents.  The tutorial covers

[. . .]external files, use it to produce documents, and even write
Python scripts to control the environment.  The tutorial covers[. . .]


> these core functions quickly.
> </example>

(also should be mentioned as what's covered in the tutorial)

(eom)

Seth

> Then after that on the same home page, you might list your more
> abstruse nifty points:
>
> These unusual features are what make Leo such a PIM, IDE and data organizer:
>
> - Leo outlines are views on an underlying graph.
> - Outline nodes can reside in many places within a single outline.
> - Leo is fully scriptable in Python.
> - Leo scripts have full access to Leo's source code and all outline data.
> - Outline-oriented markup generates external files from outlines.
>
> [and so on to what people are saying about Leo and so forth]
>
>
> Here are the other remaining places where you come closest to any kind
> of a thesis that you follow through on.  They're all actually designed
> to *not* "tell em what you're going to tell em," but rather  to say
> "now read these subpoints and you'll get it:"
>
>
> http://leoeditor.com/preliminaries.html#preface
>
> Leo is a fundamentally different way of using and organizing data,
> programs and scripts.
>
> http://leoeditor.com/tutorial.html
>
> Leo looks like other outlining programs, but it is not. This tutorial
> explains the difference.
>
> http://leoeditor.com/leonine-world.html
>
> Leonine refers to Leo’s unique way of organizing data and programs.
> This has many implications
>
>
> I've noted this "read these subpoints" tendency to you off-list.  You
> almost got to a clean presentation of the program in a way that new
> users can be drawn into, with the tutorial.  But I couldn't convince
> you to add a good "tell em what you're gonna tell em" bit of prose
> onto that.  You've then moved to the preface and a set of bullet
> points on the home page, then all the testimonials.  So it's now a
> question of whether that prose on the homepage and the preface page
> does the job, as in will it make Leo more popular.  I don't think it's
> markedly different from the problem you had before: a lot of details,
> hard to get into, no real voice leading clearly somewhere.  However, a
> couple of links on the home page promise to get them into the program,
> of which the tutorial is a move forward.
>
>
> Seth

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