This question (from somebody who isn't new's perspective) is both dumb
and much to frequent.

As far as I know you could be a genius, but which distro is best
entirely depends on _your_ taste
and _your_ needs (in that order, there are so many needs are a
secondary issue).

Here are the basics:
0 You're digitally illiterate / don't really care what you use: Ubuntu
or some such.
                These systems are not suited to serious technical play
because the
                safety nets get in the way to often.

0 You want a "jack of all trades" to word process, program, do some
multi-media type things, run a server: Try Fedora or Debian
               These require slightly more configuration than the
above but my mum can use Fedora
               so it can't be that hard.
              They also come ready for serious programming and make
okay servers.

0 You're not afraid of spending the weekend on it and you love SPEED:
Gentoo
               It's not the easiest but you can tune it to your exact
machine.

0 You want to feel like it's still the late 80's / early 90's:
Slackware or Linux from scratch
              Slackware is the easier of the two, It's almost totally
command line and
              getting a USB mouse to work is awkward at best because
it
              all done by hand.
              Linux from scratch is a tool kit and manual to build
Linux from raw
              programming
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