Just a note:
draft-santos-smtpgrey suggests to tell the sender when to try again,
e.g., 451 Greylisted, please try again in # seconds

Maybe something like that would be the right approach for this case
too?  You could announce the limits for the client in the greeting,
e.g.,
250-CONCURRENT-CONNECTIONS 10
250-RATE 5/minute
or maybe in replies at some later stage.

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