Huh! I never realised we were once at war Gabby!, You strange but somehow lovely creature you.(Reminder: don't got to war with Gabby.)
On 6 Jan, 17:44, gabbydott <[email protected]> wrote: > You see, I would like to stop making these "relational" mistakes to > exemplify what I mean. This is just for the record, not that I expect > anyone to understand. That's how Lee and I made peace. > > On 6 Jan., 18:29, gabbydott <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > I found it equally disturbing that you didn't hear the arrogant tone > > of my vegetarian posting. Different humour, I guess. > > > On 6 Jan., 17:12, Pat <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > Hi All, > > > > Last night, while eating dinner, I had a couple of lines enter my head > > > that I thought would make the basis for a comedy sketch. So, rather > > > than just chuckling about them and leaving it at that (which I usually > > > do), I decided to develop it. After about an hour and a half, this is > > > what I came up with. Hope you enjoy it. > > > > "It'd Be Rude" > > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > > > Nelson: ‘Simpkins, can I have a quick word with you?’ > > > > Simpkins: ‘Uh…sure, boss! Yeah!’ > > > > {The two walk into Nelson’s office.} > > > > Nelson: ‘Have a seat. > > > {Both sit} > > > Roger, we’ve been looking through your calendar and have a few > > > questions.’ > > > > Simpkins: ‘Uh…sure, boss! Yeah!’ > > > > Nelson: ‘First, we thought it was quite peculiar that, on Monday, > > > August 7, your entry read “Don’t hide whiskey bottles in Lundgren’s > > > bin.” What do you have to say about that?’ > > > > Simpkins: ‘Well, I thought it was a nice gesture.’ > > > > Nelson: ‘Indeed. But that’s hardly the point. Why, on Earth, would > > > you have to remind yourself to do that?’ > > > > Simpkins: ‘Uh, well, I just thought that, you know, if I did that, > > > it’d be rude, so…’ > > > > Nelson: ‘Yes, well, never mind that. Perhaps you could tell me why it > > > says, on Tuesday, August 15, “Remember not to crap in the first floor > > > urinals.”?’ > > > > Simpkins: ‘Yeah, well, that’d be rude.’ > > > > Nelson: ‘Indeed! And we found crap in the third floor urinals last > > > week.’ > > > > Simpkins: ‘I don’t have access to the third floor.’ > > > > Nelson: ‘Ah! Oh? Hmm. Well, I suppose you can’t be held accountable > > > for that. But it still leaves the question of why you would have to > > > remind yourself not to crap in ANY urinals on these premises.’ > > > > Simpkins: ‘Well, it’d be rude.’ > > > > Nelson: ‘Yes, but that’s not the point. Well, venturing into the > > > future, we found this note particularly disturbing. On Wednesday, > > > August 23, your entry reads “Must remember not to forcefully grope and > > > fondle Miss Evans from Accounts.”.’ > > > > Simpkins: ‘Well, she’s lovely, innit? > > > {Nelson reacts} > > > It’d be rude.’ > > > > Nelson: ‘It’d be rude? Mate, I think she might find it a bit more > > > than rude.’ > > > > Simpkins: ‘Well, then I’m right. You agree. I shouldn’t do it.’ > > > > Nelson: ‘But that’s hardly the point! It’s not a thought that should > > > arise as an act to be perpetrated on one’s event horizon. It’s > > > illegal, fairly immoral and personally, I think, rather aggressively > > > hostile towards a fellow colleague. Furthermore, the mere presence of > > > such an account could easily be construed as blatant intent...’ > > > > Simpkins: ‘But it says, “…not to…”’ > > > > Nelson: ‘Yes, but that’s not the point.’ > > > > Simpkins: ‘It’d be rude.’ > > > > Nelson: ‘Well, yes. Look, finally, we come to Thursday, August 31, > > > where it reads, in bright red, 32 point, Storybook font “DO NOT GO > > > POSTAL!” > > > > Simpkins: ‘Well, yeah! That’d be really rude. A lot of people might > > > get hurt.’ > > > > Nelson: ‘Yes, well, again, we have what could be construed to be > > > intent.’ > > > > Simpkins: ‘How’d ya mean?’ > > > > Nelson: ‘How do I mean? It should be bloody obvious, mate. You’re > > > talking about shooting everyone in the office.’ > > > > Simpkins: ‘No. I’m talkin’ about NOT doin’ that.’ > > > > Nelson: ‘Well, it amounts to the same thing.’ > > > > Simpkins: ‘I don’t see how. In fact, it’s the exact opposite. I > > > just > > > like to remind myself, every day, not to do something rude.’ > > > > Nelson: ‘Well, it has to be said, that most day’s memos are reasonably > > > innocuous. For example, we have no problem with such things like > > > March, 13 “Remember not to stomp in puddles when elderly people walk > > > by”, or February, 9 “Remember not to throw snowballs at the > > > neighbour’s dogs.”’ > > > > Simpkins: ‘Well, yeah, that’d be rude.’ > > > > Nelson: ‘Yes, but we DO find troubling, such entries as these, June, > > > 22 “Remember not to pick Mum’s fresh flowers from the cemetery.”, or > > > July, 3 “Sister’s coming over. Remember no incest.” Now, > > > technically, these are not work-related activities…’ > > > > Simpkins: ‘Agreed!’ > > > > Nelson: ‘Yes, and they’re out of our immediate jurisdiction. But > > > these entries DO raise questions.’ > > > > Simpkins: ‘Like?’ > > > > Nelson: ‘I’m not sure I want to ask.’ > > > > Simpkins: ‘…Oh, OK. Alright. Then, is that all?’ > > > > Nelson: ‘Is that all?’ > > > > Simpkins: ‘Well, I have explicit reminders NOT to do any of those > > > things that I have explicit reminders not to do.’ > > > > Nelson: ‘Yes, this is true. But I still find it deeply disturbing. > > > Well, just don’t let it happen again!’ > > > > Simpkins: ‘Uh, sure, boss! Yeah! > > > {Closes the door} > > > That’s why I keep the reminders.’ > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > > > Hide quoted text - > > - Show quoted text - --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups ""Minds Eye"" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [email protected] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/Minds-Eye?hl=en -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
