On 7 Jan, 12:08, Lee <[email protected]> wrote:
> Yes very nice Pat. If you are in the habit of writting comedy, I know
> a man that is always on the lookout for scripts, I can give you his
> details if you like?
>
I'm not in the habit, (this was my first), but I've always wanted
to. Yeah, I'll have his details, but I think I might wait until I
have more than one thing to send to him. Still, better to have the
details and, then, work on some things to send. Cheers!! In amongst
the details, you can tell me who he works for/what he does, etc.
> On 7 Jan, 11:01, Pat <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>
>
> > On 6 Jan, 19:12, "Chris Jenkins" <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > > *cracking up*
> > > Hilarious, mate.
>
> > Glad you enjoyed it!!
>
> > > On Tue, Jan 6, 2009 at 11:12 AM, Pat <[email protected]>
> > > wrote:
>
> > > > Hi All,
>
> > > > Last night, while eating dinner, I had a couple of lines enter my head
> > > > that I thought would make the basis for a comedy sketch. So, rather
> > > > than just chuckling about them and leaving it at that (which I usually
> > > > do), I decided to develop it. After about an hour and a half, this is
> > > > what I came up with. Hope you enjoy it.
>
> > > > "It'd Be Rude"
>
> > > > -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> > > > Nelson: 'Simpkins, can I have a quick word with you?'
>
> > > > Simpkins: 'Uh…sure, boss! Yeah!'
>
> > > > {The two walk into Nelson's office.}
>
> > > > Nelson: 'Have a seat.
> > > > {Both sit}
> > > > Roger, we've been looking through your calendar and have a few
> > > > questions.'
>
> > > > Simpkins: 'Uh…sure, boss! Yeah!'
>
> > > > Nelson: 'First, we thought it was quite peculiar that, on Monday,
> > > > August 7, your entry read "Don't hide whiskey bottles in Lundgren's
> > > > bin." What do you have to say about that?'
>
> > > > Simpkins: 'Well, I thought it was a nice gesture.'
>
> > > > Nelson: 'Indeed. But that's hardly the point. Why, on Earth, would
> > > > you have to remind yourself to do that?'
>
> > > > Simpkins: 'Uh, well, I just thought that, you know, if I did that,
> > > > it'd be rude, so…'
>
> > > > Nelson: 'Yes, well, never mind that. Perhaps you could tell me why it
> > > > says, on Tuesday, August 15, "Remember not to crap in the first floor
> > > > urinals."?'
>
> > > > Simpkins: 'Yeah, well, that'd be rude.'
>
> > > > Nelson: 'Indeed! And we found crap in the third floor urinals last
> > > > week.'
>
> > > > Simpkins: 'I don't have access to the third floor.'
>
> > > > Nelson: 'Ah! Oh? Hmm. Well, I suppose you can't be held accountable
> > > > for that. But it still leaves the question of why you would have to
> > > > remind yourself not to crap in ANY urinals on these premises.'
>
> > > > Simpkins: 'Well, it'd be rude.'
>
> > > > Nelson: 'Yes, but that's not the point. Well, venturing into the
> > > > future, we found this note particularly disturbing. On Wednesday,
> > > > August 23, your entry reads "Must remember not to forcefully grope and
> > > > fondle Miss Evans from Accounts.".'
>
> > > > Simpkins: 'Well, she's lovely, innit?
> > > > {Nelson reacts}
> > > > It'd be rude.'
>
> > > > Nelson: 'It'd be rude? Mate, I think she might find it a bit more
> > > > than rude.'
>
> > > > Simpkins: 'Well, then I'm right. You agree. I shouldn't do it.'
>
> > > > Nelson: 'But that's hardly the point! It's not a thought that should
> > > > arise as an act to be perpetrated on one's event horizon. It's
> > > > illegal, fairly immoral and personally, I think, rather aggressively
> > > > hostile towards a fellow colleague. Furthermore, the mere presence of
> > > > such an account could easily be construed as blatant intent...'
>
> > > > Simpkins: 'But it says, "…not to…"'
>
> > > > Nelson: 'Yes, but that's not the point.'
>
> > > > Simpkins: 'It'd be rude.'
>
> > > > Nelson: 'Well, yes. Look, finally, we come to Thursday, August 31,
> > > > where it reads, in bright red, 32 point, Storybook font "DO NOT GO
> > > > POSTAL!"
>
> > > > Simpkins: 'Well, yeah! That'd be really rude. A lot of people
> > > > might
> > > > get hurt.'
>
> > > > Nelson: 'Yes, well, again, we have what could be construed to be
> > > > intent.'
>
> > > > Simpkins: 'How'd ya mean?'
>
> > > > Nelson: 'How do I mean? It should be bloody obvious, mate. You're
> > > > talking about shooting everyone in the office.'
>
> > > > Simpkins: 'No. I'm talkin' about NOT doin' that.'
>
> > > > Nelson: 'Well, it amounts to the same thing.'
>
> > > > Simpkins: 'I don't see how. In fact, it's the exact opposite. I
> > > > just
> > > > like to remind myself, every day, not to do something rude.'
>
> > > > Nelson: 'Well, it has to be said, that most day's memos are reasonably
> > > > innocuous. For example, we have no problem with such things like
> > > > March, 13 "Remember not to stomp in puddles when elderly people walk
> > > > by", or February, 9 "Remember not to throw snowballs at the
> > > > neighbour's dogs."'
>
> > > > Simpkins: 'Well, yeah, that'd be rude.'
>
> > > > Nelson: 'Yes, but we DO find troubling, such entries as these, June,
> > > > 22 "Remember not to pick Mum's fresh flowers from the cemetery.", or
> > > > July, 3 "Sister's coming over. Remember no incest." Now,
> > > > technically, these are not work-related activities…'
>
> > > > Simpkins: 'Agreed!'
>
> > > > Nelson: 'Yes, and they're out of our immediate jurisdiction. But
> > > > these entries DO raise questions.'
>
> > > > Simpkins: 'Like?'
>
> > > > Nelson: 'I'm not sure I want to ask.'
>
> > > > Simpkins: '…Oh, OK. Alright. Then, is that all?'
>
> > > > Nelson: 'Is that all?'
>
> > > > Simpkins: 'Well, I have explicit reminders NOT to do any of those
> > > > things that I have explicit reminders not to do.'
>
> > > > Nelson: 'Yes, this is true. But I still find it deeply disturbing.
> > > > Well, just don't let it happen again!'
>
> > > > Simpkins: 'Uh, sure, boss! Yeah!
> > > > {Closes the door}
> > > > That's why I keep the reminders.'
>
> > > > -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> > > > Hide quoted text -
>
> > > - Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text -
>
> > - Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -
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