Yes Ash, in most cases nonconformity attracts unwanted attention at best. Further, yes it is true that there are social norms that define what sort of behavior allows attacks. Of course, such norms are not universal and vary over time. And, we all have to learn how to adapt to what we perceive as what is “out there”. This is never easy… for anyone.
While angst is common among the young at least, I can empathize with the self destructive activities that all too often are a result of some sort of moral guilt or remorse. This type of self flagellation, while seeming quite ‘natural’ and proper at the time, only results in a cathected ego as you have found out. Now, I could be way off base, however, for most, the first few days out of the womb are formative and determine whether one sees the ‘world’ as a friendly and safe place to be or not. Rather than delve into what can be seen as pseudo psych, I’ll leave it at that. For all of us, defense mechanisms of one sort or another are erected in an attempt to protect ‘self’… they are used in lieu of wisdom which can only come later, when one has lived and experienced more. Of course, some never take the path back within…so on that count, I wish you well on your journey towards self realization. On May 19, 9:46 pm, Ash <[email protected]> wrote: > Aside from the social aspects I began strongly inclined to inner peace. > Acting differently can make one a target, and silent protest is > apparently an unforgivable weakness. Unfortunately circumstances did not > promote my strengths, instead through a tormented childhood I learned to > turn my strength and depth inward against myself, creating a boundless > anguish. So I think this led to my mistrust of emotion, and myself, that > I always keep hidden. > > I know where I am, but no idea _what_ I am. From that the solution would > be simple, even if difficult to dismantle/unbury. There is too much to > say but I'm trying to be honest. I am at a crossroads now, with values > in conflict with deeply rooted lessons. Thinking things out helps, but > it always comes back to that, like in Hotel California by the Eagles > (ugh, sick joke). > > It's a short, personal story representing many of those conflicts. > > On 5/19/2010 6:16 PM, ornamentalmind wrote: > > > > > "... Having this awareness or ability can lead to conflict though." - > > Ash > > > How so Ash? > > > On May 19, 3:10 pm, Ash<[email protected]> wrote: > > >> 'blabber mouthed mind', Hah I like this guy. This might be the source of > >> that flabbergasted feeling I get when listening to some people. Having > >> this awareness or ability can lead to conflict though. > > >> On 5/19/2010 5:16 PM, ornamentalmind wrote: > > >>> As far as I can tell Neil...what we 'do' is the main point and one > >>> that becomes obvious when and IF one takes the path. Yes, I know...pie > >>> in the sky stuff, right? Not as far as I can tell. > > >>> On May 19, 8:50 am, archytas<[email protected]> wrote: > > >>>> He's good as ever Orn. I generally want more than offered in his > >>>> typical mode though (no doubt obssesively). That we are all sick is a > >>>> little obvious and only of limited help, though one has to appreciate > >>>> the wit with which this was brought up. I wonder what horrors we might > >>>> raise in cinsidering the empty state? The question is a little like > >>>> asking 'what is power?' rather than seeking new ways to produce more > >>>> of it. A good one, yet what do we develop from any insight it brings? > > >>>> On 19 May, 01:06, ornamentalmind<[email protected]> wrote: > > >>>>> ...or the noise in my head and the Wallace Syndrome... > > >>>>> Part 1:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogH3KAge6zw > > >>>>> Part 2:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHAg-O_6m-Y > > >>>>> What do you think?
