I tend to later notions of how the trauma works, though I'm sure the
tricks it habituates only delude with regard to protection. I favour
more social explanations, whilst appreciating the sound of silence,

On 20 May, 06:19, ornamentalmind <[email protected]> wrote:
> Yes Ash, in most cases nonconformity attracts unwanted attention at
> best. Further, yes it is true that there are social norms that define
> what sort of behavior allows attacks. Of course, such norms are not
> universal and vary over time. And, we all have to learn how to adapt
> to what we perceive as what is “out there”. This is never easy… for
> anyone.
>
> While angst is common among the young at least, I can empathize with
> the self destructive activities that all too often are a result of
> some sort of moral guilt or remorse. This type of self flagellation,
> while seeming quite ‘natural’ and proper at the time, only results in
> a cathected ego as you have found out. Now, I could be way off base,
> however, for most, the first few days out of the womb are formative
> and determine whether one sees the ‘world’ as a friendly and safe
> place to be or not. Rather than delve into what can be seen as pseudo
> psych, I’ll leave it at that.
>
> For all of us, defense mechanisms of one sort or another are erected
> in an attempt to protect ‘self’… they are used in lieu of wisdom which
> can only come later, when one has lived and experienced more. Of
> course, some never take the path back within…so on that count, I wish
> you well on your journey towards self realization.
>
> On May 19, 9:46 pm, Ash <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>
>
> > Aside from the social aspects I began strongly inclined to inner peace.
> > Acting differently can make one a target, and silent protest is
> > apparently an unforgivable weakness. Unfortunately circumstances did not
> > promote my strengths, instead through a tormented childhood I learned to
> > turn my strength and depth inward against myself, creating a boundless
> > anguish. So I think this led to my mistrust of emotion, and myself, that
> > I always keep hidden.
>
> > I know where I am, but no idea _what_ I am. From that the solution would
> > be simple, even if difficult to dismantle/unbury. There is too much to
> > say but I'm trying to be honest. I am at a crossroads now, with values
> > in conflict with deeply rooted lessons. Thinking things out helps, but
> > it always comes back to that, like in Hotel California by the Eagles
> > (ugh, sick joke).
>
> > It's a short, personal story representing many of those conflicts.
>
> > On 5/19/2010 6:16 PM, ornamentalmind wrote:
>
> > > "... Having this awareness or ability can lead to conflict though." -
> > > Ash
>
> > > How so Ash?
>
> > > On May 19, 3:10 pm, Ash<[email protected]>  wrote:
>
> > >> 'blabber mouthed mind', Hah I like this guy. This might be the source of
> > >> that flabbergasted feeling I get when listening to some people. Having
> > >> this awareness or ability can lead to conflict though.
>
> > >> On 5/19/2010 5:16 PM, ornamentalmind wrote:
>
> > >>> As far as I can tell Neil...what we 'do' is the main point and one
> > >>> that becomes obvious when and IF one takes the path. Yes, I know...pie
> > >>> in the sky stuff, right? Not as far as I can tell.
>
> > >>> On May 19, 8:50 am, archytas<[email protected]>    wrote:
>
> > >>>> He's good as ever Orn.  I generally want more than offered in his
> > >>>> typical mode though (no doubt obssesively).  That we are all sick is a
> > >>>> little obvious and only of limited help, though one has to appreciate
> > >>>> the wit with which this was brought up. I wonder what horrors we might
> > >>>> raise in cinsidering the empty state?  The question is a little like
> > >>>> asking 'what is power?' rather than seeking new ways to produce more
> > >>>> of it.  A good one, yet what do we develop from any insight it brings?
>
> > >>>> On 19 May, 01:06, ornamentalmind<[email protected]>    wrote:
>
> > >>>>> ...or the noise in my head and the Wallace Syndrome...
>
> > >>>>> Part 1:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogH3KAge6zw
>
> > >>>>> Part 2:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHAg-O_6m-Y
>
> > >>>>> What do you think?- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

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