Your scarin me dude, LOL! Actually you have some important issues there to discuss but I'll have to get back to it later.
On Aug 8, 2:01 pm, gruff <[email protected]> wrote: > Sure, times are tough for the average person but that’s no reason to > get nasty about it. I know it’s legend that people used to be much > nicer to each other but I’ve no idea if that legend has any validity > or basis in reality. > > I can believe that rural folks were much nicer to each other and more > concerned with each others welfare. But the country was much bigger > and our population much smaller back then. That lack of crowding led > to conditions that made people behave better toward each other (with > some exceptions as we shall see.) > > Back in that day, people in a rural community also had the same > background, heritage, religion and values, which lent to a common > concern for each other. Today most communities, even some of the more > rural ones, are a homogeneous mix of race, culture, religion and > values, all of which tend to make people a bit more wary of each > other. Or at best it makes them distant from oneself. Makes one more > stand-offish. > > If there is one significant characteristic all species seem to share > it is a general xenophobia – a fear of anything unknown or new, a fear > of strangers. Many blame it on being driven from heaven but > regardless it’s source, as we have with so many of nature’s built-in > protections, our species has taken xenophobia to heretofore undreamed > levels. We even create things to fear – vampires, ghouls and such. > And there are far too many of us even to afraid to look themselves in > the eye in a mirror. It took me till I was in my late thirties and > had some therapy under my belt to accomplish that little feat. > > I can believe some of the legend of nice people because I can recall > times when I would be overcome with an urge to perform some > spontaneous act of kindness and the response was generally thanks and > gratitude or at the very least a smile and a nod. Today when I try a > gratuitous kindness I am too often looked at with suspicion – as > though I had some hidden agenda. I don’t do it very often anymore. > I’m no hero. > > Our politics these days seems to run more on hate than I can remember > in seventy years of the stuff even though I only paid attention for > the last two decades. Sure, politics is the arena most likely to > evoke emotional reactions but anymore it seems like those emotions > boil over into a darker place in us. One that removes all trace of > concern for each other and replaces it with aggression, fear, lies and > hatred. > > Yet these facets of human behavior are not too hard to understand. > After all we’ve come from a very frightening past and certainly still > carry a lot of those fears with us. But there is a new dimension to > our xenophobia, a new level we’ve taken it to that is beyond anything > rationally acceptable as a survival instinct. In spite of commonly > available knowledge we fear differences in each other that we know (or > should know) are false. > > But to borrow a Gumpism, fear is as fear does and most frequently it > is fear itself which drives itself to higher levels of intensity. > Remember Roosevelt’s admonishment? “We have nothing to fear but fear > itself.” I don’t think many realized the eternalness of that truth. > > Lies are virtually always rooted in fear which accounts for the > overwhelming number of them being floated about these days. Fear of > not appearing a certain way, fear of not being what we think we should > be, fear of accepting responsibility, fear of the consequences of both > acting and inaction. Fear drives most of Madison Avenue’s best > creations: Fear that you smell, that you don’t look good, that your > teeth are not white enough, that your skin’s not smooth and blemish > free, that your medical condition needs a cover up, that you need the > newer drug, that your children are too fat, too thin, too disturbed, > too talkative, too … anything. Superficial fears all. > > A new aspect to commercials I’ve noticed is the disdain they show for > civil behavior: the shopper who leaves her no longer wanted pain > killers in the basket in the aisle, the man who treats children > cruelly and dishonestly, the executive with not enough sense to know > that if he fell on the lizard it would crush their main advertising > gimmick. The list goes on. Any fool can pick out the commercials > that are destructive to society and civilization: virtually all of > them. There are few commercials that are constructive and honest and > fewer yet that are even creative and entertaining. > > Right now the two biggest fears clutching our hearts are jobs and the > economy. Following closely on their heels come two wars, the deficit, > health care and the future of our nation. Some may change that order > but I think it’s fair to say that those are among the Top Ten. > > To my thinking the most dangerous aspect of this out-of-control fear > that is driving a lot of our behavior is that it blocks clear thinking > which is the key to finding solutions. This is easily seen in some of > the bizarre options people, pundits and politicians are spewing. > > We expect our judges to put aside their personal feelings and rule on > issues and events based on the evidence and the law. Would that we > could even come close to that ideal in our individual and public lives > we might be much further along than we are. But on the other hand can > we afford to do less? > > President Obama would probably gain a few points in the polls were he > to come out and demand responsibility of the citizens to and for each > other, our society and the government. Push responsibility. Demand > it. Accept no less. A side benefit might be that more people would > come to meet their responsibilities as rational and honest citizens of > a civilized society. Wouldn’t that be nice. And I bet people would > start to be nicer to each other again – if we ever did, that is. > > While a nice dream it does not get us any closer to the core problem > of xenophobia. Classic psychology and the wisdom of ages teaches that > it’s best to confront a fear head on. It’s a method that I recommend > but it does not work easily. The easiest fears to see are the > superficial ones we used to mask our deeper more real fears. > Superficial fears include those which commercials are designed to > salve. > > In chasing this grail, I recall back in the early seventies Primal > Scream therapy became popular because it allegedly allowed us to go > back and visit that first primal moment we became swaddled in fear, > the first event or thought that wrapped us in a core cocoon for > protection. > > With most people it didn’t work to well if at all, but with others it > worked only too well. Those who had the necessary self-awareness and > empathy were able to go back to that primal moment and experience that > initial fear as we did back then. This led to the title reaction in > most people of those achieving it; a primal scream. It has been said > that John Lennon and Paul McCartney both went through it. Ringo as > might be expected couldn’t make it. I don’t know about the other > one. > > Confronting that fear with the intellect of an adult allowed all the > defenses they’d built up to be stripped away. They were as > defenseless, trusting and happy as a newborn babe. But regardless the > heavenly Eden-like aspect of it, it was not the best condition to > allow that person to function in the real world. > > The world requires a certain amount of defensiveness and aggression in > order to function within the societies we have created. Perhaps in > some far distant future when humankind has evolved sufficiently we can > have a society where no defenses or aggression is needed. But that’s > not today. > > So the begging question is how do we confront a level of fear that > allows us to get past it and function more fully without stripping > away that portion which keeps us from being vanquished by the world? > > For those who deny fear, please go stand in the corner. I don’t care > if your nose is growing. Keep your face pointed up or down. And run > your mental anti-virus. > > \et
