"... On Aug 8, 4:00 pm, Jean Briscoe <[email protected]> wrote: ..."
> [?]True Fear or shall we say real fear causes a life time of damage. I must disagree. Without fear (real or true) we'd likely not be here. Fear is a natural part of the life of every living thing, animal or vegetable. I can think of no mineral life forms but that does not deny their possibility. I've been able to ascribe certain behaviors in every living thing I've examined that would be a form of fear. Fear could be considered a major part of the survival instinct. Then there are the fears that appear to only occur in human beings. I'm speaking of the ones we create out of thin ether. > It can be in a rural area or big city's of the good the bad and the ugly. I > will > agree in somethings it is unknown origin's of what we are not used to can > cause fear untill we know different. You found the key words -- "... until we know different." That's the secret of how to deal with fear, rational or unreasonble. In me, inheritor of a strong self-destruct mechanism, I grew up jumping into the middle of the things that scared me the most. Out of that desire for self-immolation came the secret you found. To know what you fear is to conquer it, or at the very least, learn to live with it. > But in these days and time's do you > know who your neighbor are. No, I don't, but then that's what Arizona is like. People generally don't like people here. A smile and a nod good morning is more than likely to get you a snarl or a finger. And that's what Arizona is normally like. Now, during these stressful times, it's gotten worse. More violence, especially domestic. > Our crime rate is alot higher. Tough times breed crime but even in prosperous times crime is way higher than it should be in my estimation. The resolution of a lot of crime and drugs is simple and easy. Cure poverty and educate the youth. But working up the will and rational thought to do it is tough. > Unless you have > stayed in one place all your life and know the town people than that would > make you feell of less concernment. I've traveled all over the U.S. and lived in more places than I can recount and I've never felt much concern. But all that happened more than fifteen years ago and times were different. I suspect I'd not find it that easy today. What I did find that was an overwhelming majority of communities, large and small, wanted you to "pay your dues" before you'd be allowed to enjoy the benefits. That usually meant sticking it out wherever you were for at least a year and the more conservative a community was, the longer that period of dues was. I tried moving to Utah only once. But that was why I used Las Vegas for a home base most of my life. No matter where I was, how broke I was, what my circumstances were, if I could get to Las Vegas, I knew I'd be working and making good money in just a few days. It's that kind of town. Or at least it was. I've been gone now for more than ten years and things have changed. > Why would people not have just a little > bit more fear and caution,when you get things in the mail every other day a > card that says sex offender and they live down the street from you. Are you > watch the news and it says gangs have move into the neighborhood,or people > have been admitted into your country only to find out they were criminals > from the country they came from. For me, that's a two-parter. First you have to realize -- really realize -- that the media, politicos at all levels, and especially the religious have a vested interest in keeping you fearful. The second part is easy. Don't buy into it. If their BS makes you afraid they've won. Just put it in perspective. Extract the valid information from their rants and base your judgments on that. If you look at the world just right -- I mean, as much without bias as possible -- it's easy to see we're moving forward which is a realization that can give one peace of mind. > I think we are strong people and it really > takes alot grit to smile and say hello and even go to bed at night and know > that will see the sun come up in the morn. This is true faith. Faith in yourself and all of humankind as well. Sounds like maybe you've got a little touch of that madness. It's a good thing. > I was at a > stop light years ago going home and this person chased me all the way home > and was bumping my bumper. I do not live in such a fear but I have good > common sense and judgement that not just to say hello but to proceed with > caution. The children are taught at a young age not to speak to stranger's > and don't get in the car with others. Then even over the years have been > thumb printed for ID. Anyone who has ever ventured further than their front door has had similar experiences. Over the years I've run an informal tally on various things about people I've known. One public distinction I've noticed that holds true again and again is the person who has a good sense of themselves, confidence, bearing -- call it what you will -- is far less accosted than the person who walks through life head hung down, a nervous shuffle, sending waves of insecurity out to those who look for that sort of thing. There are a lot of people in this world who prey on perceived weakness and anyone giving off airs of insecurity are going to be accosted, attacked, robbed and who knows what else throughout their lives. Eye contact is one of the most visible symptoms. Watch people in the street. Look at them and count how many avert your gaze rather than return it. Returning the gaze is acknowledgment of the other and requires a response. This frightens most people and it lets in the very ones the averted gaze was meant to keep out. Hold the other person's eyes for a second. Give a barely imperceptible nod and go about your business. A slight smile will generally evoke one in the other which can lead to actual words and possibly meeting another person you like. If you don't, you can always be in a hurry and move on. Oakland, California, is a city where there is a lot of eye contact on the street. Strangers talk to one another easily. But then the whole Bay area is like that. Very street oriented. It's just that black culture is far more adept at streetese than us white folk. Oakland is more than half black. Another quarter are oriental and the rest middle class white. Upper class white live up in the Oakland Hills and never the twain meet except to clean house, serve guests and yard work.
