Yikes! But Mardi and Gibbs have other ideas on the subject which suggest ambivalence is quite normal.
It depends on the choice/decision. I am quite at ease in making most choices- informed, confident of my judgement and taste, etc. BUT... There are some areas that do indeed get muddied up sometimes and that would often be relationships and the more intimate, the more complicated. But it could also be another type of decision that has consequences- a major purchase or committment to a career, etc. I am not talking about the Pruefrock debate. Often there is a conflict between duty and expectation of one's position and desire, feelings, etc. that are hestitant or in opposition. In my case, I have agreed to a two week visit and I really do not feel up to it. (Guilt?) Could it be the long, longer, longest winter in memory? Is it putting away the knickknacks so the toddlers won't break them? Is it that my routine and order will fly to the winds? Or will the advent of spring- for surely it will arrive one of these days- open windows, no boots, change the entire atmosphere? If the past is a guide, it will be fun and lovely and I will grieve when they depart. BUT... This child and I are very close yet have really gone through some stuff together. I debated and she made reservations. :-) Am I still remembering her as a teenager? Perhaps ambivalence comes into play when there is a good deal of history/information and we get swarmed. So Mardi and Gibbs make good points- go with your heart and accept the ambivalences. Afterall, it is all all those differences that add spice to relationships, as well. But she can't have that ivory Buddha... :-) The instance when someone defined ambivalence was crucial and I suppose part of a plan to help me assess facts versus wishes until I finally had the courage to file for divorce. On Mar 10, 2:44 am, ornamentalmind <[email protected]> wrote: > When felt as being problematic as rigsy does, ambivalence by > definition is ‘pathological’.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ambivalence > > The issue is not having been clarified enough to actually integrate > apparently differing issues, values, notions etc. So, in this context, > her feelings of distress point to an actual need for clarification. > > There is a point where one can actually integrate all aspects of a > situation/self. And, even though Wilber is more of a pop icon than a > final embodiment of truth, he and his integralism is a good place to > ‘start’ when it comes to this topic – ambivalence. > > http://integrallife.com/http://www.integralworld.net/augustine4.htmlhttp://www.integralworld.net/shepherd2.htmlhttp://www.integralworld.net/linkseng.htmlhttp://www.integralworld.net/index.html > > The topic, as simple as it is, can be made into a vast labyrinth of > thought. > > Molly on occasion addresses this too and in one of the above links > philosophers are addressed including Plato. > > As far as I’ve found, his “The Fifth” is about as far as one can go. > > On Mar 9, 8:34 am, [email protected] wrote: > > > > > Re ambivalence - It is not pathological but absolutely normal. Love/hate > > exist in every relationship both with the self and the self and the self > > and others. If only we all were logical in the sense of scientific cause > > and effect we could always be 'objective." But we human beings are much > > more complex than simply disembodied intellects. There is also the realm of > > mixed feelings. When you add linear (scientific causality) logic with the > > realm of messy feelings you get a hybrid causality I refer to as > > experiential logic (thinking plus mixed feelings and emotions). > > Acknowledging this fact validate my wise psychoanalyst's insightful > > observation: "In between black and white are not shades of gray; rather, > > there are colors. > > > Gibbs Williams > > > -----Original Message----- > > From: rigsy03 <[email protected]> > > To: "Minds Eye" <[email protected]> > > Sent: Wed, Mar 9, 2011 8:46 am > > Subject: [Mind's Eye] Re: Ambivalence > > > I feel it in my mind and body and it can be very distressing- back and > > forth- this way and that- a maybe then no and all over again! :-) > > > The brain/logic could have one arena and the sub-conscious/emotions > > have another. > > > Sometimes I just don't decide and let whatever happens, happen- i.e. I > > tune out choice. This can be troublesome later if do not like the > > outcome! :-) > > > Someone once told me ambivalence is natural and normal and is a way of > > seeing things/relationships realistically. Perhaps that is true. > > > On Mar 9, 6:20 am, ornamentalmind <[email protected]> wrote: > > > The first step is 'seeing' (being aware of) it. > > > > On Mar 9, 3:03 am, "pol.science kid" <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > i so get what you mean...... > > > > > On Mar 8, 6:47 pm, rigsy03 <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > How do you all/y'all handle this nettle?- Hide quoted text - > > > > - Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text - > > - Show quoted text -
