Molly, at least give the members some time to ease the stress which they
feel in such a serious discussion, there is nothing so relieving as humor.

On Fri, Mar 6, 2015 at 7:17 PM, Molly <[email protected]> wrote:

> Beautifully structured argument, Francis, I am so happy you are back with
> us here. When we talk about violence against women and cultural attitudes
> toward women, and begin to look toward violence prevention and, as Pol
> suggests, we are talking about ways to begin to make a change.. The
> thinking in the US for the last couple of decades has been that
> "prevention" whether in terms of violence, substance abuse, teen pregnancy
> or any of the other societal ills we look to improve, all have the same
> systemic approach. The approach has been community organization, grass
> roots, involving collaborative groups interested in giving children and
> families the same messages about interpersonal and group relations and
> effecting these cultural norms. It could only be brainwashing (heading Neil
> off here) if everyone went along blindly, which is why the grass roots
> approach is the only working model so far. We can organize large groups
> only if they can see the benefit of how our invested interests effect them,
> their families, their children. If we can prove that it can, it works, and
> large parts of the community will join the effort for long enough that
> attitudes can change. If groups don't see change in their lives, the
> movement fails quickly. It takes support from the top and lots of effort
> from the bottom to the top and back down. When it works, it is a beautiful
> thing. Organization takes time and I think we all have a problem being
> patient with ourselves. We also have a problem taking responsibility for
> our own attitudes and how they effect the whole. The continual degradation
> of the discussion to an argument about Allan's statement may be a
> distraction from looking at our own responsibility and attitudes. It is the
> most important place to start. And sometimes the hardest.
>
>
> On Thursday, March 5, 2015 at 8:38:07 PM UTC-5, frantheman wrote:
>>
>> If I'm understanding you correctly, RP, one of your major arguments is
>> that it's not fair to single out India on this issue because other
>> countries are just as bad.
>>
>> This is not a good way to make an argument. It's basically just a version
>> of the situation where a kid is called out for misbehaviour and he/she
>> answers by pointing at another kid and saying, "he did it too, she did
>> something even worse!" It doesn't address the real question.
>>
>> The real question here is a cultural attitude towards women which seems
>> to be fairly widespread in certain sections of Indian society and the
>> influence this may have had on the Indian authorities re. banning the
>> documentary. In an open society - which India is - it is legitimate to
>> discuss this issue; in a globalised open society, it is perfectly valid for
>> people outside India to also become involved in this discussion. I
>> certainly would not claim that India is a "backward country"; it is the
>> world's largest democracy, a wonderful example of how a post-colonial
>> society can organise itself multi-ethnically, multi-lingually,
>> multi-culturally, multi-religiously, despite huge problems of inequality,
>> poverty, and many potential sources of serious conflict, in a democratic
>> and open manner. Chaotically, often imperfectly ... but it works! And
>> that's something the whole world can only look at in awe and admiration.
>>
>> But this does not mean that India is perfect, or beyond criticism. And
>> the attitude to women *is *an Indian problem. I agree it's also a
>> problem in other countries and societies - but that's a matter for another
>> discussion. And as long as India remains an open society - something I
>> expect it to do - this current discussion on attitudes to women, provoked
>> by the horrific rape and the documentary, is only the beginning. This
>> discussion will go on, and move in directions which may prove even more
>> uncomfortable for those holding traditional conservative attitudes. Once
>> the theme of equality and rights in gender issues comes into the arena of
>> public discussion, other questions which are implicit in it will arrive on
>> the agenda sooner or later. What about the issue of parents deciding who
>> their children should marry, for example? India has a growing,
>> well-educated, questioning, young population, networked with the whole
>> world, half of them women. They will ask questions, compare, and ultimately
>> demand. In an open society, you can't put the toothpaste back in the tube.
>>
>> Am Freitag, 6. März 2015 00:07:25 UTC+1 schrieb RP Singh:
>>>
>>> If you had read the post to which I had answered You would have known
>>> what I meant. The issue was that India is a backward country and are
>>> prejudiced against women, I am just pointing out that such a progressive
>>> country like america does not treat its women as equal to men, they don't
>>> give equal salary or benefits to women. So please stop harping about India
>>> and talk about inequality in the world, discrimination in the world,
>>> exploitation of women in the world. Make it a global issue and not an issue
>>> about India.
>>>
>>> On Thu, Mar 5, 2015 at 10:03 PM, 'facilitator' via "Minds Eye" <
>>> [email protected]> wrote:
>>>
>>>> What the hell does the US having a woman president have to do with
>>>> rape?  We haven't had an oriental president either. Hell, we haven't even
>>>> had a black president yet.
>>>>
>>>> On Thursday, March 5, 2015 at 10:03:56 AM UTC-5, RP Singh wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>> There has been rampant dowry harassment of many young brides by the
>>>>> in-laws, but the greatest harassment has mostly been done by the
>>>>> mother-in-law. Women are actually the women's greatest enemies. America 
>>>>> has
>>>>> 50% women population and in their long history they are yet to have a 
>>>>> woman
>>>>> president. Are women actually sleeping or maybe somewhere they think that
>>>>> men would make better leaders.
>>>>>
>>>>> On Thu, Mar 5, 2015 at 7:56 PM, Molly <[email protected]> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>> A very sad case indeed, Pol. There is much there to invoke outrage.
>>>>>> And RP's crack about women being the worst enemy for women has the tone 
>>>>>> of
>>>>>> these rapists flinging insults about the victim. But I cannot say I agree
>>>>>> that the film looks to be someone preying on the victim to get their own 
>>>>>> 5
>>>>>> minutes of fame.  Looks as if the film makers took a tough stand to try 
>>>>>> to
>>>>>> bring attention to the problem. And the problem looks to be, at least in
>>>>>> part, that blaming the victim is so accepted in all parts of culture that
>>>>>> we don't even recognize it when we see it, or sometimes say it. I can 
>>>>>> feel
>>>>>> deep compassion for the mother when she says that she can't be hurt worse
>>>>>> by their words after her daughter died in her arms after their violent
>>>>>> actions. How do we bring attention to the atrocity of cultural acceptance
>>>>>> of not only this kind of violence but the gender inequity that 
>>>>>> perpetuates
>>>>>> it?
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On Thursday, March 5, 2015 at 8:59:06 AM UTC-5, pol.science kid wrote:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> http://indianexpress.com/article/cities/delhi/i-wish-judicia
>>>>>>> ry-govt-did-more-than-just-ban-a-film/
>>>>>>> On Mar 5, 2015 4:44 PM, "RP Singh" <[email protected]> wrote:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> That documentary has been banned and I don't read banned stuff
>>>>>>>> because it is mostly prejudiced and sensational. The maker is simply
>>>>>>>> creating a storm to make money. When that incident happened everyone 
>>>>>>>> was
>>>>>>>> shocked, and by raising that subject again by talking to a perpetrator 
>>>>>>>> of
>>>>>>>> the crime what did the producer want? If he was really concerned he 
>>>>>>>> should
>>>>>>>> have talked to people on the road and not a savage who had no concern 
>>>>>>>> for
>>>>>>>> others but only blaming the victim. Everyone needs protection, I as 
>>>>>>>> well.
>>>>>>>> It is society through the government that provides protection against
>>>>>>>> criminals and scoundrels. There are other type of savages who loot all 
>>>>>>>> your
>>>>>>>> money and put you on the road, there are savages in uniform who 
>>>>>>>> implicate
>>>>>>>> you in criminal cases, everyone needs protection and you are not 
>>>>>>>> unique in
>>>>>>>> that. You can make India a better place to live in, just why don't you 
>>>>>>>> try
>>>>>>>> to do that?
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> On Thu, Mar 5, 2015 at 4:19 PM, polly skid <[email protected]>
>>>>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> Don't use animals and rapists synonymously. What is your point
>>>>>>>>> when you say women in other places are vulnerable? Its quite 
>>>>>>>>> obvious.. We
>>>>>>>>> all live in this world and are aware of what happens in other places 
>>>>>>>>> too..
>>>>>>>>> The point of reference is the documentary and Delhi. Maybe extending 
>>>>>>>>> it to
>>>>>>>>> other parts of India. Nobody ever said only Indian men rape. I don't 
>>>>>>>>> know
>>>>>>>>> who you are defending 'india' against... When you say 'you are not 
>>>>>>>>> unique
>>>>>>>>> 'in demanding protection.. Are you talking to me(when did i demand
>>>>>>>>> protection;when i said delhi is unsafe??) , or do you mean all 
>>>>>>>>> womankind
>>>>>>>>> when you say 'you are  not unique in demanding protection'? As far as 
>>>>>>>>> i
>>>>>>>>> gather Udwin is saying through the  documentary that most men in 
>>>>>>>>> india are
>>>>>>>>> not raised to respect women as equals and that's a contributing 
>>>>>>>>> factor in
>>>>>>>>> increased rapes, hardly about controlling some random 'savages' out 
>>>>>>>>> to get
>>>>>>>>> women and children. Maybe you should actually watch the documentary. 
>>>>>>>>> Might
>>>>>>>>> help bring some perspective.
>>>>>>>>> On Mar 5, 2015 4:03 PM, "RP Singh" <[email protected]> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> Such instances happen everywhere in the world. There are streets
>>>>>>>>>> in New York where you cannot move about. Girls are, and yes even 
>>>>>>>>>> children
>>>>>>>>>> are forcefully put into prostitution and are drugged and made to do 
>>>>>>>>>> things
>>>>>>>>>> which go against civilization. Are they being done by Indians only?
>>>>>>>>>> Everyone needs protection from the animals and savages among us, and 
>>>>>>>>>> you
>>>>>>>>>> are not unique in that. Western countries might be better in some 
>>>>>>>>>> sense,
>>>>>>>>>> but we are in others. If you are talking about Delhi, you are doing 
>>>>>>>>>> so as
>>>>>>>>>> if it was crawling with monsters, but there are monsters everywhere. 
>>>>>>>>>> In
>>>>>>>>>> developed countries they have better systems of control, and as we 
>>>>>>>>>> progress
>>>>>>>>>> we will learn to control the animals here as well.
>>>>>>>>>> I have just read Archytas and he has given a good  explanation.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> On Thu, Mar 5, 2015 at 3:14 PM, polly skid <[email protected]>
>>>>>>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>> Leave Delhi.. Remember the UP village case where two teenage
>>>>>>>>>>> sisters were raped and hanged from a tree? Already forgotten by most
>>>>>>>>>>> people.
>>>>>>>>>>> On Mar 5, 2015 3:12 PM, "polly skid" <[email protected]> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>> Why should i need protection if i wear western attire..?and by
>>>>>>>>>>>> that logic wearing 'indian attire' doesnt call for 
>>>>>>>>>>>> 'protection'..if you
>>>>>>>>>>>> wear it ? Comparing India with Taliban aint a very great idea. We 
>>>>>>>>>>>> are
>>>>>>>>>>>> moving forward(in time) because thats what people do/countries 
>>>>>>>>>>>> do.. Plus
>>>>>>>>>>>> who is criticizing 'india' dude...?? I dont get the point of 
>>>>>>>>>>>> getting masses
>>>>>>>>>>>> and democracy. It's a fact that if youre a woman in Delhi youre 
>>>>>>>>>>>> quite
>>>>>>>>>>>> unsafe. One cant even call any cab or board any bus.. The problems 
>>>>>>>>>>>> of
>>>>>>>>>>>> course go much further than anything that is written here. Arguing 
>>>>>>>>>>>> about
>>>>>>>>>>>> the 'greatness' of india's heritage, democracy , culture doesnt do 
>>>>>>>>>>>> shit....
>>>>>>>>>>>> On Mar 5, 2015 2:35 PM, "RP Singh" <[email protected]> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>> If you are wearing western attire and moving about the streets
>>>>>>>>>>>>> of Delhi who protects you, it is the people of India. India is a 
>>>>>>>>>>>>> democracy
>>>>>>>>>>>>> and the government can function only if they are chosen by the 
>>>>>>>>>>>>> people.
>>>>>>>>>>>>> Whatever politicians might be they know that they are answerable 
>>>>>>>>>>>>> to the
>>>>>>>>>>>>> people and are ruling with peoples' mandate. Day by day we are 
>>>>>>>>>>>>> moving
>>>>>>>>>>>>> forward, are we doing so by subjugating the masses? Our former 
>>>>>>>>>>>>> Prime
>>>>>>>>>>>>> Minister Indira Gandhi tried to play the despot and lost the next 
>>>>>>>>>>>>> election,
>>>>>>>>>>>>> she learned the lesson and corrected herself. Polly Taliban does 
>>>>>>>>>>>>> not exist
>>>>>>>>>>>>> here , some people are trying to do that in the name of culture 
>>>>>>>>>>>>> and are
>>>>>>>>>>>>> unsuccessful. Do the majority in India want fundamentalism, 
>>>>>>>>>>>>> surely not!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>> On Thu, Mar 5, 2015 at 1:12 PM, polly skid <[email protected]
>>>>>>>>>>>>> > wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Sorry.. I don't mean the word tolerant.. what are 'they'
>>>>>>>>>>>>>> supposed to be 'tolerant' of anyways.. That females exist and 
>>>>>>>>>>>>>> move about by
>>>>>>>>>>>>>> will?? ...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>> On Mar 5, 2015 12:52 PM, "polly skid" <[email protected]>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Hate to say this RP.. But majority of people are NOT
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> tolerant...  An hour into the streets of most areas of Delhi or 
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> even most
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> parts of north india would make it clear... Maybe you stay in 
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> better
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> parts...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> On Mar 5, 2015 11:41 AM, "'facilitator' via "Minds Eye <
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> [email protected]> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> That's encouraging RP.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> On Thursday, March 5, 2015 at 12:30:56 AM UTC-5, RP Singh
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> It is not the majority view, but that of deranged,
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> uneducated and fundamentalists. Such people are always doing 
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> something evil
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> in the name of culture, what do such people know of culture. 
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> We have a rich
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> heritage of  giving respect to women if we look in not so 
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ancient India,
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> when muslim raiders came from the west and stole women  a 
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> little purdah
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> system developed as a defence, and in the course of time 
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> evils in society
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> also developed, but by the good works done by social 
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> reformers from amongst
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> us much of our evil treatment of our women was abolished. It 
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> is in the
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> nature of humans to rationalize their venomous intentions by 
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> putting the
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> blame on the victim. The majority of our people are not like 
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> that, they are
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> tolerant and free and that is the reason that we are 
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> progressing greatly.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> On Thu, Mar 5, 2015 at 12:58 AM, archytas <
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> [email protected]> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> China?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> On Wednesday, March 4, 2015 at 7:13:51 PM UTC,
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> facilitator wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Article:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> "Blaming women for rape is what hundreds of millions of
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> men here are taught to believe.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> And the code for women in this country is simple: Dress
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> modestly, don't go out at night, don't go to bars and 
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> clubs, don't go out
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> alone. If you break the code, you will be blamed for the 
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> consequences.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> When one of the four men sentenced to death for the
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> high-profile gang rape of the woman in 2012 was quoted in a 
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> new documentary
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> as saying "a girl is far more responsible for rape than a 
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> boy," he was
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> repeating something community and religious leaders in this 
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> nation of 1.2
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> billion routinely say.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>  --
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
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