Thank you Ian. I just finished reading Ouis'
conversation with Pirsig.
Something of the article I would like to mention,
for there is much more specifically discussed in the
article upon different topics, but one topic that hit
home for me. If somebody is not finding good in what
they do, then the value of what they are doing is
disappearing and the relationship with the world
devalued.
For me, my gut reaction has been to run. To get
away from society. For the woods and I have had a
good relationship. My wife, son, and I have had a
good relationship. I stay on the MoQ.org, due to this
relationship has been good. The rest of society on a
person to person relationship has not been as good.
Therefore I find the quality on this social level to
be hampered and not very valuable. The intellectual
level has been shaky at times. I guess I've fallen
back on the biological level at times due to a weak
social level in my life. I try to reach for the
intellectual level for help, but it does not have all
the answers, thus, my fondness for dynamic quality.
The social level is really a mess. Pirsig
mentions in the article how we are to look for the
good and find the quality in events. He likes the
sunlight when he awakens. Cloudy days are gloomy. I
see that my not so good evaluation of the social level
in which I participate, and I'm not just talking about
work; and I feel like I'm messing up at times. I have
trust issues. I want to reach out to others at times,
and I feel like I know what I could say to help
encourage better relationships. I want people to
relax around me. I want people to feel they can open
up to me, and I want people to understand what I mean
by experiencing closer and closer to what's going on
with me - to make the effort to be in my shoes. I'm
trying so don't put me down, and think you know what's
going on, what's the solution, and what's wrong with
me, no don't think such 'things' unless your willing
to get into the routine and see for yourself. Yes,
some of this is coming from my job, but relationships
on the streets are very surface dependent,
materialistic, and not much time is present to
actually get together to not only discuss, but to
dance as a community without thinking our hang-out has
to be in the mall. I don't know. As Pirsig
mentioned, he forgot why he went into the psych ward,
and you know what, I'm forgetting, really I am, as I
write this, why I don't like society. I don't have
all the answers to this why of mine. I just have this
nagging dislike and no-value attitude/relationship
with the social level.
I remember writing a book collected from
journaling I did from age 16 to ca. 20. It had
something to do with this. I also wrote in one
journal entry that I rejected society, but in another
journal entry on another backpacking trip of mine I
realized that as much as I don't like society I can't
live without it. So, how do I make amends? Something
really must have torn me up for I'm still feeling the
shock of this discomfort to this day and I'm 31.
Sometimes I think it's going away, and then other
times, it's definitely not. So, how do I make amends?
I don't think anybody can really answer this
question, maybe not even me.
woods,
SA
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