At 05:52 AM 11/20/2007, you wrote: >Hi Marsha, > >sometimes I think painting is the only useful thing I can do and that I >should put aside all other considerations of family and finance.
Family and finances stopped me too, but there came a moment when I was free. I fought off every 'but you should' and decided to go for it. I had to hurt my family. I rejected them thoroughly, and their values, but then I had to reject myself too. My family accept me now as I have learned to accept being outside the square. Laziness, not sure that's the right word, was definitely an obstacle. There were gumption traps everywhere. I created my own studio, and would trick myself into being there and doing it, doing anything. Finally, I surrendered. In 2001, I moved to this place and left a social life behind. >I sometimes I think that the more time I could spend painting then the less >I would have wasted my life. Yesterday is yesterday. Now my life is painting. Now is now. >And yet I rarely remember those moments of conviction and the reality is >that I'm very lazy when it comes to painting! It's love, a GREAT LOVE........ >I thoroughly agree with you that painting is therapy but, unlike you, I >think it has to be seen by others to attain it's full value. Therapy is undertaken to become sane, the last thing I'm looking for. I am an archeologist looking for old bones and that very great love. I'm not afraid to die for those old bones and that great love either. I don't mean to make this so dramatic, it is just a choice. Marsha >On 20/11/2007, MarshaV <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > > > > > > > Greetings, > > > > Maybe I am an exhibitionist, or just plain luney, but painting is an > > experience different than anything else in my life. Printmaking was > > the same and it's taken a long time to get back to really working > > from the inside out. I don't know if trying to talk about it will > > ever make any sense, but I seem to be compelled to try to talk about > > it to dig deeper. > > > > If you could see the first print I made after my husband died maybe > > you'd understand. It was so dark and scary that it really frightened > > me. I think it is safe to say it was of a woman splintered and out > > of her mind. I don't want to produce such darkness. There's too > > much negativity already. I just didn't want to go there. > > > > In 1998 I spent the summer in Italy with a friend and a group of > > primarily art students. I wasn't sure I'd like the art. I thought > > it was all that religious stuff. But WOW!!! It swept me away. I > > decided the only thing to do was to just paint. > > > > You can't think painting, at least I can't. It has to be quite the > > opposite. I have to let go. Geez, words suck!!! The painting is > > both the trip and the safety net. But this MD Discuss forum is also > > been very special to me. It's given me a way to restructure the > > world in a way that makes sense during the daylight hours. It's a > > beautiful map! And you are all beautiful. In a strange way you are > > more my family than my family. You are my sangha. > > > > So I thank you all for your giving. > > > > Marsha > > > > p.s. I've got another painting started. It's much different that > > the last one, but also the same. > > > > > > > > > > Moq_Discuss mailing list > > Listinfo, Unsubscribing etc. > > http://lists.moqtalk.org/listinfo.cgi/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org > > Archives: > > http://lists.moqtalk.org/pipermail/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org/ > > http://moq.org.uk/pipermail/moq_discuss_archive/ > > >Moq_Discuss mailing list >Listinfo, Unsubscribing etc. >http://lists.moqtalk.org/listinfo.cgi/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org >Archives: >http://lists.moqtalk.org/pipermail/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org/ >http://moq.org.uk/pipermail/moq_discuss_archive/ Moq_Discuss mailing list Listinfo, Unsubscribing etc. http://lists.moqtalk.org/listinfo.cgi/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org Archives: http://lists.moqtalk.org/pipermail/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org/ http://moq.org.uk/pipermail/moq_discuss_archive/
