Marsha, you bring to mind a film I saw of Willem de Kooning painting in very old age and with Alzheimer's disease. It seemed that was the only thing he could do.
I hope your journey brings you joy. Regards -Peter On 20/11/2007, MarshaV <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > At 05:52 AM 11/20/2007, you wrote: > >Hi Marsha, > > > >sometimes I think painting is the only useful thing I can do and that I > >should put aside all other considerations of family and finance. > > Family and finances stopped me too, but there came a moment when I > was free. I fought off every 'but you should' and decided to go for > it. I had to hurt my family. I rejected them thoroughly, and their > values, but then I had to reject myself too. My family accept me now > as I have learned to accept being outside the square. > > Laziness, not sure that's the right word, was definitely an > obstacle. There were gumption traps everywhere. I created my own > studio, and would trick myself into being there and doing it, doing > anything. Finally, I surrendered. In 2001, I moved to this place > and left a social life behind. > > > >I sometimes I think that the more time I could spend painting then the > less > >I would have wasted my life. > > Yesterday is yesterday. Now my life is painting. Now is now. > > > >And yet I rarely remember those moments of conviction and the reality is > >that I'm very lazy when it comes to painting! > > It's love, a GREAT LOVE........ > > > >I thoroughly agree with you that painting is therapy but, unlike you, I > >think it has to be seen by others to attain it's full value. > > Therapy is undertaken to become sane, the last thing I'm looking > for. I am an archeologist looking for old bones and that very great > love. I'm not afraid to die for those old bones and that great love > either. I don't mean to make this so dramatic, it is just a choice. > > Marsha > > > > > >On 20/11/2007, MarshaV <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > Greetings, > > > > > > Maybe I am an exhibitionist, or just plain luney, but painting is an > > > experience different than anything else in my life. Printmaking was > > > the same and it's taken a long time to get back to really working > > > from the inside out. I don't know if trying to talk about it will > > > ever make any sense, but I seem to be compelled to try to talk about > > > it to dig deeper. > > > > > > If you could see the first print I made after my husband died maybe > > > you'd understand. It was so dark and scary that it really frightened > > > me. I think it is safe to say it was of a woman splintered and out > > > of her mind. I don't want to produce such darkness. There's too > > > much negativity already. I just didn't want to go there. > > > > > > In 1998 I spent the summer in Italy with a friend and a group of > > > primarily art students. I wasn't sure I'd like the art. I thought > > > it was all that religious stuff. But WOW!!! It swept me away. I > > > decided the only thing to do was to just paint. > > > > > > You can't think painting, at least I can't. It has to be quite the > > > opposite. I have to let go. Geez, words suck!!! The painting is > > > both the trip and the safety net. But this MD Discuss forum is also > > > been very special to me. It's given me a way to restructure the > > > world in a way that makes sense during the daylight hours. It's a > > > beautiful map! And you are all beautiful. In a strange way you are > > > more my family than my family. You are my sangha. > > > > > > So I thank you all for your giving. > > > > > > Marsha > > > > > > p.s. I've got another painting started. It's much different that > > > the last one, but also the same. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Moq_Discuss mailing list > > > Listinfo, Unsubscribing etc. > > > http://lists.moqtalk.org/listinfo.cgi/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org > > > Archives: > > > http://lists.moqtalk.org/pipermail/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org/ > > > http://moq.org.uk/pipermail/moq_discuss_archive/ > > > > >Moq_Discuss mailing list > >Listinfo, Unsubscribing etc. > >http://lists.moqtalk.org/listinfo.cgi/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org > >Archives: > >http://lists.moqtalk.org/pipermail/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org/ > >http://moq.org.uk/pipermail/moq_discuss_archive/ > > Moq_Discuss mailing list > Listinfo, Unsubscribing etc. > http://lists.moqtalk.org/listinfo.cgi/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org > Archives: > http://lists.moqtalk.org/pipermail/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org/ > http://moq.org.uk/pipermail/moq_discuss_archive/ > Moq_Discuss mailing list Listinfo, Unsubscribing etc. http://lists.moqtalk.org/listinfo.cgi/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org Archives: http://lists.moqtalk.org/pipermail/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org/ http://moq.org.uk/pipermail/moq_discuss_archive/
