<[email protected]> wrote:

> moody blues, I love that album...


Ah. ron.  this really hits deep.










man.


I don't know if I can do this.  But hey.  I'll try.  I think it might take a
while and I was in a silly and giddy mood, and this is not a silly and giddy
thing, but a deeply felt and true thing, and a thing that always makes me
happy and yet always makes me cry.

every time.


Just a song.  moody blues song, it hit me hard the day after manzi  died and
at the time, I didn't really have the words in my head, I was looking for
some different words.  I was trying to come up with a song.

See, my wife had a little tune she made up and she sang to manzi, rocking
her, to peaceful sleep, and it wasn't always a peaceful home, our tiny
teetering tin shack on the edge of the
diggins, manzi being the forth girl and all and me not quite straightening
out the plumbing issues so no washer and dryer and try THAT with four
kids...

Anyways, it was a poem, went something like this, fly away cobwebs dustballs
go to sleep, I'm rockin' my baby cuz babies don't keep.

There's more to the poem but that's all Lu knew and after manzi drowned, it
meant a lot to Lu to have that song sung at manzi's funeral and so I was
looking on the web, trying to find the rest of the poem so I could maybe
work out a song.  I found the poem, but the poem came with a little tinkling
jingle of the moody blue's "wildest dreams" what's that format?  Oh yeah,
MIDI.  It was a MIDI jingle accompanying that poem and as I read the poem,
the tune just sorta got carved into my head.  It wasn't just that I was in a
somber and reflective mood.  For some reason, it really worked with the poem
and it hit me hard.  I didn't even really think about the words or remember
them or anything... maybe just the chorus came to mind, the phrase, "In your
wildest dreams."

I took the words and the rudimentary tune Lu had and went over to a
musically-oriented friend's house and came up with a really, great song.  At
the funeral when he played it, it was so sad, so syrupy and treackly sad
depressing that the whole place just sobbed.  I don't know why that was
healing but it was.  It helped to make everybody else feel as sad as me,
just for a while.

Later, when I heard Wildest Dreams on the radio.  Heard the words with that
tune - association stamped into my brain and thought about losing my
blue-eyed little girl, I get choked up every time and even now just thinking
about it.

Once upon a time,
Once when you were mine, I remember skies
reflected in your eyes
I wonder where you are
I wonder if you think about me, once upon a time,
In your wildest dreams.


Ah heck.  I'm gonna see if its on youtube and listen and get all misty eyed.


wish I had some whiskey.
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