Hmm, I'm not sure that it is an ailing social pattern. I think it was ailing for a while, but on the whole I'm pretty sure it's on the increase. In actual behaviour as opposed to expressed opinions that is - ought to be easy to check the stats - as opposed to generalizing from a sample of one (Al and Tipper). Monogamous lifelong social pattern that is, not formal instruments of church and state - not sure what they have to do with marriage, except to keep system of law tidy - a matter of democratic efficiency. I think arrangements "enforced" by pieces of paper demanding effort have little to do with marriage ?
There are many evolutionary explanations for why it's positively valuable, for the individuals, their social peers, offspring, genes, memes, the lot ... to do with being able to reasonably predict each other's behaviours, without wasting valuable time that could be spent learning new values from new experiences, ... usually. If every encounter with a potential sexual partner becomes a game of mutual intentions and expectations, then there is no doubt plenty of biological fun and variety to be had, but at the expense of useful progress in the higher levels I would suggest. Humans are already pretty good at reproduction and keeping offspring alive to maturity .... it's the social-intellectual mess we need to develop, not the bio-social - we have that cracked as a species. Some social patterns just keep the biological ones intact, so we can focus where we need to. I think it is a big deal to understand why it's a good thing, but no big deal to enforce guilt where relationships break down. That's life. (Interesting to compare Bonobo's with Humans) To cut a long story short ... Horse's words ... "You only (need to) enter into contracts with people you don't trust.) Regards Ian On Tue, Jun 8, 2010 at 4:24 PM, MarshaV <[email protected]> wrote: > > Hi Matt, > > > Hi Matt, > > It's no big deal. It's an ailing social pattern. I'm > trying to consider its value. Is it an instrument of > the church? Is it an instrument of the state? Where > does its value lie? Or maybe I'm trying to decide how > one would determine if it, or any social pattern, actually > has value. For all its supposed importance maybe in > actuality it is just a useless, blind ritual. Or maybe without > marriage, the entire social level would collapse into > one mass biological orgy? > > I'm just wondering. I thought maybe others might > hint to a best approach. > > > Marsha > > > > > On Jun 8, 2010, at 10:05 AM, Matt Kundert wrote: > >> >> Sure--if one attaches enough personal importance to the >> idea of close, spiritual intimacy and proximity (in whatever >> sense one attaches to the word "spiritual"), then the >> currently institutionalized form of monogamy known as >> marriage might seem worth going to the courthouse for. >> >> And one usually finds out if one is one of these people >> through experience. You're alone, then not. You're alone, >> then not. Which do you like better? Is it worth that ugly >> word, "compromise" (for either choice)? >> >> Maybe I'm just younger than everybody else, but I don't >> see what the big deal is. >> >> Matt >> >>> >>> Let me simplify the question. Does marriage have enough goodness to make >>> its survival/improvement worth an effort? >>> >>> >>> Marsha >> >> _________________________________________________________________ >> Hotmail has tools for the New Busy. Search, chat and e-mail from your inbox. >> http://www.windowslive.com/campaign/thenewbusy?ocid=PID28326::T:WLMTAGL:ON:WL:en-US:WM_HMP:042010_1 >> Moq_Discuss mailing list >> Listinfo, Unsubscribing etc. >> http://lists.moqtalk.org/listinfo.cgi/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org >> Archives: >> http://lists.moqtalk.org/pipermail/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org/ >> http://moq.org/md/archives.html > > > > ___ > > > Moq_Discuss mailing list > Listinfo, Unsubscribing etc. > http://lists.moqtalk.org/listinfo.cgi/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org > Archives: > http://lists.moqtalk.org/pipermail/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org/ > http://moq.org/md/archives.html > Moq_Discuss mailing list Listinfo, Unsubscribing etc. http://lists.moqtalk.org/listinfo.cgi/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org Archives: http://lists.moqtalk.org/pipermail/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org/ http://moq.org/md/archives.html
