John, I have been lying in bed trying to sleep, and I've thought of two things that I want to get off my chest.
A long while back you had said something very much like: getting a man to change the way he talks/interacts is like trying to make an ugly guy handsome. The second thing you said pretty recently, it was something like: dmb, I will never butt into one of your conversations without your wanting me to do so, ever again. Both are related; and both would be a big problem I think if they went unchecked ----- that is, sometimes you have to put the wall right in front of you, on purpose. We do not choose our biology; in fact, so it seems, we do not choose to be born. I have said that the things we choose reveal who we are. An ugly man and a handsome man don't seem to have choice in that; they are temporary/provincial trappings. A man can choose how he voices himself! I think life is diverse enough to keep things interesting between people who choose wisely --- that is, compassion, concern, etc. shouldn't become boring. (If it ever does, someone will have to cross that bridge then.) Anyway, to the second. It is real easy to speak in superlatives. These superlatives can hide the important stuff behind the masks. On the other hand, once seeing behind the mask becomes conventional, all the qualifiers like 'probably', and 'maybe', and 'I think', which are quite important, might be able to be dropped conventionally for ease of speaking. This is something I caution against. Anyway, I think such a superlative as 'will never' is something you might come to regret. Fortunately, I think you deserve the right to take it back. Life doesn't hold one to such things. But your reputation does suffer. So, together, I would suggest - certainly for a case like this, where you went out of your way to say it, and it wasn't just a slip-up - that you consider this advice, that you come to agree with it (or help me see why I am being unfair), and that you inform dmb of your reneging on that comment. Further, it seems you have kicked a surprised man when he is down. So while loneliness can be a bitch, such dickery might be even worse!!! I think you own him an apology. I meant what I said about dmb. I think he is real smart, and before too long he will be back kicking ass - in a good way. Yours, Tim -- [email protected] -- http://www.fastmail.fm - One of many happy users: http://www.fastmail.fm/docs/quotes.html Moq_Discuss mailing list Listinfo, Unsubscribing etc. http://lists.moqtalk.org/listinfo.cgi/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org Archives: http://lists.moqtalk.org/pipermail/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org/ http://moq.org/md/archives.html
