Hi Dan, Yea, I get it, my mistake. I was confused by the sudden switch. Mark
On Sun, Jul 17, 2011 at 6:12 PM, Dan Glover <[email protected]> wrote: > Hello everyone > > On Sun, Jul 17, 2011 at 6:55 PM, 118 <[email protected]> wrote: >> OK. >> My only suggestion is to write "I" pouted instead of "he" pouted. > > Well, I believe that would be considered proper if the writing were in > first person. It is not. Rather, the story is being told in third > person (limited)... this time from Lisa's point of view. I do > appreciate your input, however. > > Thank you for reading, > > Dan > >> >> Mark >> >> On Jul 17, 2011, at 3:43 PM, Dan Glover <[email protected]> wrote: >> >>> Lisa, he said. Do you really have to go? >>> >>> He was lying in bed still naked, watching her pull herself into her >>> tight jeans. Her ample bared breasts jiggled as she bounced into her >>> pants. >>> >>> Are you asking me to stay, Billy? she said, sucking in her stomach to >>> button her jeans. >>> >>> Yes. >>> >>> Then I'll stay! she said, as if something important finally settled in >>> her mind to her satisfaction. But I do have to get to work. I start >>> early today. >>> >>> Well, at least you don't have far to go, he said. Do you love me? >>> >>> We have what we have, Billy. Can't that be enough? >>> >>> I guess it has to be. He pouted. When you put it that way... >>> >>> Hand me my tee shirt, she said as she snapped on her bra, adjusting >>> herself. Billy, I like you. I like you a lot. And maybe (she saw his >>> mood lighten visibly) yes maybe, I even love you. But give me some >>> time. I just got out of a really bad relationship. >>> >>> God how she hated the thought of going to work. The customers were all >>> such little boys. Like Billy. Mopy little boys when they didn't get >>> their way. She needed a real man; someone who'd sweep her off her >>> feet, rescue her, take her away from all this madness. And what was >>> she doing... getting involved with a man who just got out of an insane >>> asylum. She had to be part crazy herself. >>> >>> I see things and hear things that aren't really there, Billy had told >>> her the first night they met. The first night they spent together. >>> What do you mean, she had asked. And he told her about being committed >>> for attempting suicide. >>> >>> Why did you try and kill yourself, Billy? she asked. >>> >>> I, well, I know it was me now but at the time, I thought God told me >>> to cut my wrists. I heard His voice as clear as I am hearing yours >>> now. He came to me and spoke to me. >>> >>> But how did you know it was God? >>> >>> He told me. I saw Him. And there were colors floating all around Him. >>> I couldn't really tell what kind of colors, just all different colors >>> all jumbled up. And I knew it was God. >>> >>> And did you? >>> >>> Did I what? he asked. >>> >>> Cut your wrists. Try to kill yourself. >>> >>> He held up his arms and showed her the long jagged vertical scars... >>> scars that said he meant business... scars that meant he shouldn't be >>> here talking to her right now but instead six feet under the ground >>> where all dead people belong. >>> >>> I should have died, he said. I did die. They brought me back. My wife >>> came into the room right afterwards and found me on the floor bleeding >>> to death. She saved my life. I watched. It was like I was hovering >>> over it all, watching myself, watching her, watching the paramedics >>> trying to save my life. And there were others there too. >>> >>> What do you mean, she asked. Others? Dead people? >>> >>> Yes. People I used to know. People who loved me and who I loved. My >>> mother. My grandparents. They were angry with me. They didn't say >>> anything but I could tell they were angry. It wasn't my time. >>> >>> And now, here she was, fixing to move in with this crazy guy who >>> talked to God and saw dead people. What are you thinking, Lisa, she >>> asked herself. But there was something about Billy Austin. He was like >>> no one she'd ever met. Oh sure, he was a little boy, but there was >>> more to him than that. When he looked at her, he seemed to be seeing >>> things that no one else could see. And the way he listened to her was >>> like he was hearing her for the first time. >>> >>> Jesus Christ, she hoped she wasn't falling in love again... >>> >>> > Moq_Discuss mailing list > Listinfo, Unsubscribing etc. > http://lists.moqtalk.org/listinfo.cgi/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org > Archives: > http://lists.moqtalk.org/pipermail/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org/ > http://moq.org/md/archives.html > Moq_Discuss mailing list Listinfo, Unsubscribing etc. http://lists.moqtalk.org/listinfo.cgi/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org Archives: http://lists.moqtalk.org/pipermail/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org/ http://moq.org/md/archives.html
