Diane Wiley writes:
Wow, I am overwhelmed by some of the assumptions here that Dennis is making.
First, that the parents of gang kids didn't teach their kids values. Lots
and lots of gang kids have parents who did try to teach their kids values
and the parents are totally freaked out and without any help to deal with
their kids. Let's say you have a young kid who is associated with a gang
and selling pot to get money, which gets him deeper and deeper into the
gang. What do you do? Say "honey, get an honest job to earn money"? And
where does that job come from? RT just said on the radio that federal funds
were cut for the jobs for gang kids program. They got 29 jobs last year and
hope to get 80 this year for gang kids. That's a drop in the bucket.
There's another city program for jobs for kids that also had cuts. They
have enough money for 300 jobs, says RT and they need 3000. Wanna keep kids
out of gangs? Job programs are probably the best way. If you want to help
kids, lecturing them about values is great, but getting them a job is
changing their behavior and actually DOING SOMETHING.
A little statistic about jobs I read in the Nation -- there was a study
where they had adult males, black and white, in Milwaukee go out to get jobs
with similar resumes. The white males with HS diplomas and a criminal
record got called back almost twice as much as the black males with HS
diplomas and NO criminal record. Black teenagers can get jobs, but a lot of
them are going to need help, and that also goes for Asian, Latino and White
teenagers, gang members or not.
Second, kicking your kid out. I got news for you. You can't do that
legally. Not if they are under 16, and many of the "gang kids" are under
16. And what happens if they are 16 and you DO kick them out? How do they
support themselves? More pot selling, stealing, gangbanging? That's real
positive. You've lost any chance at helping them go straight and lead a
decent life. It's a basic tenent of all kinds of therapies, cognitive,
behavioral, whatever, that you have to replace the bad behavior with
something else or you haven't got a chance at real change. This punitive
stuff does not work at changing people.
And finally, look at the impact on families where there are problem kids.
These families are already stressed out. I know a woman who has 4 kids, has
been on and off welfare and lives in section 8 housing. Her oldest son got
busted for crack and she almost lost her house. What the heck good is that
going to do? She's trying to work at her job and make it so she can stay
off welfare, and they threatened to kick her out of her house. Hello? Her
oldest didn't even live there, but he gave their address because where does
he live anyway? But what if he did? Do you think she necessarily HAD to
know that he was dealing? I don't think so. And if she did, what could she
do about it except tell him not to? And what possible good would it do to
destroy her and her other kids' lives?
From Tangletown now because I had to leave Powderhorn for my teenagers' sake
Dennis Plante Responds:
Diane, it appears you cared for your child enough that you removed them from
a potentially life-threatening situation. I commend you for that. And I
believe, as a parent, it was your responsibility to do so.
My belief? A parents responsibility does not stop at telling a child "get
an honest job and earn money". If you have a child (and decide to keep and
raise that child), you then "own" the responibility of raising them.
If support of family members does not exist in a single parent scenario then
that parent DOES have a responsibility to their child and society to seek
assistance from the community & government in intervening with the problem
they are experiencing. I do not believe it is acceptable to allow the child
to continue with activity that is both illegal and detrimental to THEIR
over-all well-being. And YES, I do believe that having the child removed
from the household IS necessary at times, for the good of all members in the
family unit. But only after everything that could possibly be done has been
done.
To knowingly allow a child to continue their involvement with street gangs
plays a part in condemning that child to less of a future than they might
have had. Intervention at ANY COST, at ANY POINT in the scenario, will
always result in offering a better future to that child than standing by and
doing nothing.
I have met and had the chance to speak with many former street-gang members
that are now out and involved with the communities they live in. Almost
without exception, they have told me that they wished someone had intervened
(with them) when they had first gotten involved with the activity that
landed them in trouble.
dennis plante
lind-bohanon
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