> Michael, of course, is talking about giving and showing respect, not > demanding it. Can you give an example of a time when honesty might > trump showing respect, in your view?
I've seen a number of cases, both in our current organization and outside of it, where people simply didn't want to do the job they were hired to do. They often wanted to do some other job or do the same job in some other manner. All too often, when this is discussed with the person, the matter of respect seems to be brought up by the person having difficulty. In their opinion, we don't respect them, or their skillset, or their desire. When that happens, it's best to focus on open honest discussion, not "deferential regard"*. There often seems to be some belief on the part of the person that if we don't agree that they're doing the right thing then we don't respect them, and any attempt to be respectful just falls into this bizarre circular trap. Honestly, polite honesty if possible, is a much better approach in this situation in my opinion. In a way, it feels like how a judge seems to treat the people coming into the courtroom. It often feels like the judge demands a lot more respect than (s)he gives. It's best for everyone if everyone holds the judge in "deferential regard" and the judge explains everything honestly, without letting respect get in the way of honesty. If communication only occurs between equals, then we have to ask ourselves if respect causes people to still be viewed equal on all sides. If giving respect causes the person receiving it to feel superior, then in those cases, it could easily become a barrier to communication... * http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=respect To Post a message, send it to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] To Unsubscribe, send a blank message to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] ad-free courtesy of objectmentor.com Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/extremeprogramming/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
