Hi Rob, 

On 1/15/18, 10:07 AM, "netmod on behalf of Robert Wilton -X (rwilton -
ENSOFT LIMITED at Cisco)" <[email protected] on behalf of
[email protected]> wrote:

>Hi Martin,
>
>All OK with me except where I have further comments/questions inline
>below:
>
>On 15/01/2018 14:39, Martin Bjorklund wrote:
>> Hi,
>>
>> Thanks for the review!  Comments inline.
>>
>> Robert Wilton <[email protected]> wrote:
>>> Hi Lou, Martin
>>>
>>> I've done a quick review of draft -04.
>>>
>>> It looks well written to me.
>>>
>>> I have a spotted a few minor nits/questions.
>>>
>>> Section 1:
>>>
>>> (i) "Such diagrams are commonly used to provided " => "Such diagrams
>>> are used to provide"?
>> Ok.
>>
>>> (ii) "This document provides the syntax used in YANG Tree Diagrams."
>>> => "This document describes the syntax used in YANG Tree Diagrams", or
>>> if not "describes", perhaps "specifies"?
>> I changed to "describes".
>>
>>> (iii) "common practice is include" => "common practice is to include"
>> Ok.
>>
>>> Section 2:
>>> (iv) Are the top level data nodes really offset by 4 spaces, or should
>>> this be 2 spaces?  The example in section 2, and section 4 seem to
>>> differ here.  The submodule example in Sec 2.1 looks like it is using
>>> 2 spaces.
>> It should be 4 spaces.  I fixed the example in 2.1.
>Hum, OK.  Is this the right choice?
>  - It means that the tree is indented 2 spaces further than everything
>else (e.g. groupings, augments, etc).
>  - YANG modules in RFC's already struggle with line length anyway,
>hence wouldn't the use of 2 spaces give the model a bit more space.
>
>I also think that it would be good to check the indent of all the tree
>diagram snippets in the doc, it looks like they may be using somewhat
>varying levels of indents (between 2 and 6 spaces).

I agree - it is already hard to fit the tree diagrams into RFCs.

Thanks,
Acee 
>
>
>>
>>> (v) "is prefaces with" => "is prefaced with"
>> Ok.
>>
>>> (vi) Section 2.2, should there be an example of an unexpanded uses
>>> statement?  I was wondering if this section was under specified?
>> I have added:
>>
>>     For example, the following diagram shows the "tls-transport"
>>grouping
>>     from [RFC7407] unexpanded:
>>
>>         +--rw tls
>>            +---u tls-transport
>>
>>     If the grouping is expanded, it could be printed as:
>>
>>         +--rw tls
>>            +--rw port?                 inet:port-number
>>            +--rw client-fingerprint?   x509c2n:tls-fingerprint
>>            +--rw server-fingerprint?   x509c2n:tls-fingerprint
>>            +--rw server-identity?      snmp:admin-string
>Yes, looks good.
>
>>
>>> Section 2.6:
>>> (vii) "If the node is augmented into the tree from another module, its
>>> name is printed as <prefix>:<name>."  Does there need to be a
>>> clarification that the prefix name used is the one used by the
>>> module's import statement?  Or does it use the prefix statement from
>>> the imported modules instead (I know that these should normally be the
>>> same, but this is not guaranteed).
>> Since this is used when a node is augmented *into* the main tree, it
>> can't be the prefix in import, since the augmenting module is not
>> imported from the augmented module.  I did:
>But the YANG module must import the module that it is augmenting. If a
>local import prefix is used in the actual YANG module then it would be
>slightly harder to relate the tree output back to local import prefixes
>used in the YANG module.
>
>>
>> OLD:
>>
>>        If the node is augmented into the tree from another module,
>>        its name is printed as <prefix>:<name>.
>>
>> NEW:
>>
>>        If the node is augmented into the tree from another module,
>>        its name is printed as <prefix>:<name>, where <prefix> is the
>>        prefix defined in the module where the node is defined.
>This is OK with me, but there is still a potential for a prefix
>namespace clash (since prefixes are not guaranteed to be unique).
>
>An alternative solution would be for the YANG tree diagram to list (at
>the beginning or the end of the diagram) the mappings from prefix ->
>module name used.  This has the bonus that it also explicitly lists the
>YANG modules that are being augmented, but conversely, this might end up
>just adding unnecessary noise to a diagram that should be short and
>simple ...
>
>A second alternative would be to add some vague text to state that the
>prefix to module mapping should be explicitly listed in any cases where
>the prefix name alone is not obvious.
>
>Thanks,
>Rob
>
>
>>
>>> Section 3.2.
>>> (viii) It would be slightly easier to read if there wasn't a linebreak
>>> between "--" and "tree-print-groupings", not sure if that is feasible
>>> to force this.
>> I don't think I can enforce this, but I'll look into it.  If nothing
>> else, the RFC editor will fix this.
>>
>>
>> /martin
>>
>>
>>> Thanks,
>>> Rob
>>>
>>> On 10/01/2018 16:16, joel jaeggli wrote:
>>>> Just a reminder given the date that this was posted. This last call is
>>>> expected to complete Monday 1/15/18.
>>>>
>>>> Thanks
>>>>
>>>> joel
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> On 1/1/18 2:01 PM, joel jaeggli wrote:
>>>>> Greetings,
>>>>>
>>>>> We hope  the new year is a time to make great progess on outstanding
>>>>> documents before preparation for the  London IETF begins in earnest.
>>>>>
>>>>> This starts a two-week working group last call on:
>>>>>
>>>>>    YANG Tree Diagrams
>>>>> draft-ietf-netmod-yang-tree-diagrams
>>>>>
>>>>> 
>>>>>https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-netmod-yang-tree-diagrams/
>>>>>
>>>>> Please send email to the list indicating your support or concerns.
>>>>>
>>>>> We are particularly interested in statements of the form:
>>>>>
>>>>>     * I have reviewed this draft and found no issues.
>>>>>     * I have reviewed this draft and found the following issues: ...
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Thank you,
>>>>> NETMOD WG Chairs
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
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>>>> .
>>>>
>> .
>>
>
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