>From yesterday's Fiver........
WHOSE RULE IS IT ANYWAY? As anyone stupid enough to listen to what Richard Scudamore has to say will know, the people in charge of football are making it up as they go along. Chancers to a man, they're flagrantly winging it, taking the game in various different directions - down the pan, up its own jacksie, into administration - without an effing clue what they're actually trying to achieve in the long run. The long what? Take the goons on the Premier League board, who have given Wolverhampton Wanderers a suspended £25,000 fine for fielding a Tea Lady XI at Old Trafford in December. Despite parking the canteen in front of goal, Doris, Irene, Edna, Nora, Edith, Ada, Chris Iwelumo, Myrtle, Sylvia and Blanche couldn't keep Manchester United out, losing 3-0, and now the game's governing body has come down on them like a big plate of iced buns. "The board deemed that the club had failed to fulfil its obligations to the league and other clubs in the utmost good faith and was therefore in breach of Rule B13," were the first words muttered in today's improv workshop. "The board had sympathy for the explanation submitted by the club in relation to similar cases from previous seasons," continued the least amusing off-the-cuff riff performed since Greg Proops and Josie Lawrence were mainstays of Channel 4's Friday night schedule. "However the board ruled that this case could be differentiated from the other matches cited and that disciplinary action was warranted." Exactly how they differentiated Wolves' Tea Lady XI from, say, Manchester United's Knackered Old Geezers Who Clean Out The Old Trafford Bogs In Exchange For Free Carling Cup Tickets XI that faced Hull on the final day of last season - Bert, Arthur, Les, Ernie, Tosh, Norm, Roy, Gary Neville, Bill, George and Len - wasn't explained. "You have to be realistic," said Premier League chief executive Scudamore at the time. "United have got a squad, and therefore you can't argue that they deploy the benefit of that squad. Alex Ferguson's going to put a team out that he intends to win that game." Eh? Why didn't United get... or why have Wolves been... er... oh. Oh! The Fiver is confused. Not as confused as Scudamore and pals, admittedly, but confused nonetheless. Before printing, please consider the environment. IMPORTANT NOTICE: This e-mail and any attachment to it are intended only to be read or used by the named addressee. It is confidential and may contain legally privileged information. No confidentiality or privilege is waived or lost by any mistaken transmission to you. The RTA is not responsible for any unauthorised alterations to this e-mail or attachment to it. Views expressed in this message are those of the individual sender, and are not necessarily the views of the RTA. If you receive this e-mail in error, please immediately delete it from your system and notify the sender. You must not disclose, copy or use any part of this e-mail if you are not the intended recipient. -- Pig's pudding - it's a mon's dinner aer kid
