Dear Alison, as a homebirth midwife who transfers women from intended
homebirth into a large teaching hospital, I can understand your
disappointment at the lack of graciousness in the case you discussed. From
my experience, when the woman and her entourage arrive at the hospital (no
matter how large or small) they are usually pretty strung out by the long
labour, the pain and the fear of what might happen to the woman and baby.
They are totally focussed on getting the baby out safely in what they see as
an alien environment. When the baby is born they are then focussed on the
jooy of the baby's arrival and the desire to go home as quickly as possible.
The midwife herself is usually emotionally and physically exhausted.. no 10
hr shift for her. I am not trying to make excuses for them, but you may be
able to see that under those circumstances, they probably didn't register
you in their conciousness. You were a peripheral care-giver in a very
intense physical and emotionally fraught situation. The debriefing from
such a situation usually take place over about a week with small parts of
the drama being replayed and talked about. It is only then that women say
"they weren't too bad at the hospital" and then progress over the days to..
"we really had a nice midwife. she really helped us".By then tho, parenthood
concerns and accumulated fatigue have built up and they move on. I can only
assure you that kindness is NEVER forgotten and you will be remembered as
that nameless "good" midwife who helped them Best wishes, Mary Murphy
----- Original Message -----
From: "allison buck" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent: Wednesday, August 22, 2001 12:52 AM
Subject: Understanding?
> I write to explore the events that have occured in my practice as a
Hospital
> Based Midwife in the past week.
>
> I am on night shift at present, and we all know the challenges that sunset
> seem to bring. Never do these things seem to occur during day light
hours,
> or if they do, seem quite trivial, with a Hospital full of Medical
> resources.
>
> After receiving handover on this cold, wintery night, I freely volunteered
> to care for 'the homebirth' woman.
>
> The instances that had seen this lady admitted to our Birth Unit, included
a
> prolonging of her second stage (over 5 hours prior to admission),
prolonged
> rupture of membranes (45 hours) and incoordinate and dwindling uterine
> contractions.
>
> My background is of course as a Hospital Based midwife for the past 5
years.
> I am strongly involved in supporting women, and their families in the
> choices that they make, whilst at the same time, being governed by the
> Hospital in which I work, and which, in turn provides the safety and
support
> that I need. I have at some times thought of the possibility of entering
> private practice, but for me I feel that the right time for that may be
many
> years away.
>
> Following handover I was introduced to the couple I was then going to care
> for and support during their birth experience. I was not greeted by a
smile
> or hello, and yes I can fully understand that Hospital was not where they
> wanted to be. How great it was to be with a couple who were making
choices
> and deciding for themselves. Alternatively, I work within policies. You
> can plainly see the dilemma beginning to arise for myself. I needed to be
> supportive, but also the devil's advocate for all the 'what ifs'. Is this
> my role? Yes, absolutely, but is it also the role of the Independent
Midwife
> to do this before leaving the comforts of home? That's Ok, I understand.
>
> The lady's GP was a wonderful support to both the couple and myself.
> Agreeing to be 'baby nurse' as the couple refused to have another Midwife
> present for the Birth. That's OK, I understand.
>
> A healthy baby boy was born at 10.30 that evening with the help of a
> Syntocinin Infusion, and a lot of 2nd stage coaching by Her Independent
> Midwife and Myself. A wonderful outcome achieved. A few smiles and nods
of
> thankyou were circulated throughout the room, but none unfortunately in my
> direction, as I waited for pulsations to cease of the cord. That's OK, I
> understand.
>
> A long 8 1/2 hour second stage, and after 45 minutes no signs of a
placents,
> was I worried about a PPH or a manual removal? Absolutely, and is that so
> wrong? My concerns were unfounded when after an hour, She had Her
placenta,
> complete with a scant amount of vaginal blood loss. "Can I pop this arm
band
> on your baby?" I asked, and was met with a firm "no, we will not be
> separated". That's OK, I understand.
>
> After a beautiful 2 hour breastfeed, and well deserved shower, the couple
> went home four hours after the Birth. Armed full of contact numbers,
> answers to possible scenarios that could happen before their Midwife sees
> them in the morning, and my best wishes and congratulations, the couple
> entered the coldness of the night. There was no acknowledgement or
> thankyous offered.
> That, I do not understand.
>
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