I have been on both side of the B/feeding fence re the too hard to b/feed
debate - and I know the anguish of difficult attachment / baby pulling away
from the nipple etc.... My first son was this tricky feeder and I too felt
that B/feeding would be natural - where there's a will there's a way type
thing... However after 6WEEKS of cup feeding spoon feeding cracked nipples /
expressing / nipple shields and baby losing weight I discovered myself -
(Noone suggested it was an option) - but I was willing to try anything -
That I would keep offering the breast at every feed with a nipple shield -
which was the only thing he would latch onto! - and if the baby still got
frustrated I would give formula afterwards. I still expressed all the time
(I was hooked up like a cow for several hours a day!) Eventually at that 6
week milestone I tried faithfully the breast feed first and he ACTUALLY
latched on for the first time without fussing and pulling back - I was
nearly as overwhelmed as I had been in the delivery room and he was fine for
a year after that! That experience definately pushed me to the limit and
with the 2nd I was thinking that if the same sit. was to happen I wouldn't
have coped so long - thankfully the 2nd was a dream home birth - but all the
same I have endless sympathy for those with mountains of will and a tricky
baby as most seem to assume it is the mother that determines the success or
failure - sometimes the baby can be a little monkey!!
By the way Jamie was not tounge tied or anything physical - but i will say
he had a bad dose of pethidine post birth and was difficult to rouse - and
the midwives who tried to latch him on were quite rough with his head and
held it in a vice like grip to force him to the breast - I reckon it took
that many weeks to disassociate that experience from the breast feed.
Any other experiences like this? - I am always interested to see if
pethidine had anything to do with it as all other conditions were supposedly
Ok - ie position, latch, my diet etc.

Interesting debate - I always have a hard time at reunions when I have
correctly predicted the bottle feeders!
Ie. full of self doubt at the prenatal breast feeding class...AND ambivelent
husbands - big factor.
Steph. Adelaide.
----- Original Message -----
From: "MICHELLE WHITE" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent: Wednesday, August 21, 2002 3:51 PM
Subject: FW: [ozmidwifery] too hard to brestfeed


>
> I'd like to add my thoughts to this debate..
> I agree with you that I  think it's incredibly unfair to dismiss women who
> choose
> to bottle-feed as being selfish....
> It's a tough decision to make and I doubt any women who has desperately
yearned
> for their child, would ever make that decision lightly.
> Before I had my little girl I decided that I would breastfeed because we
all
> know that it's the best thing you can do for your baby.
> I also thought it would be the most natural thing in the world.
> However, after a week of extreme pain and anguish I decided to put my
child on
> formula because I could not get her to attach properly, she wasn't getting
> enough milk, she was sick and jaundiced, I was a physical and emotional
wreck
> and faced leaving hospital without my little girl being able to feed
properly.
> It should have been the happiest time of my life, but I was totally
miserable.
> My baby looked miserable and my husband was distraught because we both
were
> suffering.
> It was a tough decision to make, I was treated like dirt by the nurses in
the
> hospital when I decided to switch to formula and I was offered no advice
or
> assistance on how to bottle-feed. Basically I was told that if I formula
fed, I
> was on my own, which made me furious.
> However I did switch to bottle-feeding and for ME I think it was the best
thing
> I could've done. I went from hating feed-times and feeling like a total
failure
> to being able to enjoy having my baby in my arms watching her feed.
> So, yes, breast is best. But please Megan, don't assume that someone is
any less
>  a caring, 'real' mother if their circumstances mean they'd rather
bottle-feed.
>
> Michelle.
> Perth w.a.
> -----Original Message-----
> From: owner-ozmidwifery
> Sent: Wednesday, 21 August 2002 2:09 PM
> To: ozmidwifery
> Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] too hard to brestfeed
>
>
> In a message dated 8/21/02 9:37:24 AM W. Australia Standard Time, Megan
> writes:
>
>
> > I wonder how many of these parents that find breastfeeding too tiring,
time
> > consuming, etc had oodles of energy to go out to nightclubs to all
hours.
> > Granted you have all Sunday to recover. There is so much energy for
doing
> > things that only benefit ones selfish needs(my opinion), if society
cared
> > as
> > much about birthing and nurturing as it does about football.
> Megan
>
> I have had three children.
>
> The first was formula fed from about 2 weeks of age.
>
> I would have dearly loved to breastfeed my second, but he died shortly
after
> birth, and so I went through the physically and emotionally painful
process
> of letting my milk dry up.
>
> My third baby (premature) was breastfed until 10 months of age.
>
> In the case of babies 1 and 3 the decisions that I made, were not made out
of
> selfishness - far from it.  How to feed you baby for many (most?) is a
very
> emotive one, and bound up in all sorts of history and background, but I
would
> suggest that very few women make decisions about feeding their baby
lightly.
> Even if they make a decision about feeding - for what someone might
consider
> a "selfish" reason - who are we to judge?
>
> I know what you are trying to say, and I do agree that the whole issue of
> parenting and having children does not seem to have a high priority in
this
> high-tech consumer led world, and certainly the case of the Nigerian women
is
> awful (and not an isolated incident according to a report in Marie Claire
> last year).
>
> Debbie Slater
> Perth, WA
>
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