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This reminded me of a woman I know who had not intended her 2yr old
son to be at the birth of her second child.
When she went into labour she could not get hold of her back up child
care.
So they went to the hospital and hubby had the 2yr old - trying to
call for someone to help.
To cut it short - a fast labour 21/2 hrs with 2 yr old running about
delivery room - turning the lights off and on while baby was born.
She was shocked that the nurses didn't even assist with loking after
him.
This was about 11 yrs ago but she still laughs about
yeling at her son to "turn the light back on" between pushing.
He was totally unprepared and a little too young to be
unattended while Dad helped her.
Rhonda
-------Original Message-------
Date: Monday, November
25, 2002 14:39:46
Subject: RE:
[ozmidwifery] Re: [Children Present at Births)
We planned on having out two sons present at the birth at
home of number
three, boys were 3 1/2years and just under two. I showed
them the video of
number two being born, water birh at home, we watched
it lots and also some
other videos our midwife lent us. I told them
about the noise I might make
and about how not to talk when I was
concentrating on the baby coming out.
Likened it to having to
concentrate when driving the car and looking for a
carpark, can't talk
much then either. I told them it might hurt me, but it
was a special
hurt just for helping babies to come out. I told them it had
to come
out between my legs, a special whole that only mummies have, boys
don't
have one. Daddy would be rubbing my back and helping me and the
baby.
Importantly you need to arrange a person/s for the children,
someone they
trust and they need to support your philosophies of
childbirth, you don't
want their fear coming into your birth. My
husband wasn't as keen as I was,
but he agreed to take it as it came. I
also told them that I might want to
be on my own and they may have to
go for a walk or to grandma's. I
acknowledged that this could upset
them and hence affect my labour, but
figured I would allow half an hour
extra in labour for this to be worked
through(not scientifically
based).Birth can take a while so children will
probably want other
things to do. You have to accept that may not even like
to be there at
the time, nothing is set in concrete.
It helps if they are involved
with the pregnancy, attending appointments if
in hospital or helping
the midwife if at home. Kids just love the tools of a
midwife, fundal
measurements might be a bit out though if they help.
Some good books
are "Having a Baby" by Jenni Overend and also the writer of
"Maisie
Mouse" series has one about introducing a new sibling etc, (sorry
don't
know the name).
Lots of talking, my youngest wasn't that interested,
but the older boy new
all about the placenta and unbilical cord, he
loved the blood and mess.
After all my education, baby decided to enter
the world in the middle of the
night and the boys slept right through
it all. We woke the eldest up a
couple of hours later to help cut the
cord. Little one didn't wake til usual
time. It was a fast and
demanding labour so it was appropriate that the boys
weren't there, I
believe I wouldn't have coped as well, things happen for
a
reason.
My oldest, now 4 1/4 years thinks I should have another
baby so as our
midwife can visit us again and so as he can be awake to
see the birth this
time. I love this, but dad's not to keen. He offered
to pay the midwife just
to visit, no baby.
So I don't think it
matters how old other children are, just prepare them as
best you can
for the birth and enjoy the
time.
Cheers
Megan.
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