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Dear robin,
I can understand this attitude but when the parents have made every
effort to get help and have been unable to contact anyone (just bad timing
rather than bad management) you would expect some understanding and
support from the nursing staff - not like she could just put off her
labour until the babysitter came home. She was made to feel that she
was not meant to have him there etc as she had not planned it she was also
feeling that he was not meant to be there which made her
uncomfortable.
Also it does not take much effort to help especially with this woman
who basically popped out all of her four boys without any assistance or
complications. I don't know why she went to the hospital -
personally.
4 hours being her longest labour. No
tears, no other complications at all except an unattended 2yr old who
found the light switch.
I did say to her if that was her only complaint out of 4 hospital
births then she had "nothing" to complain about! LOL
Rhonda.
If that was the worst thing to happen to all women we would all be
laughing!
-------Original Message-------
Date: Monday, November
25, 2002 19:35:40
Subject: Re:
[ozmidwifery] Re: [Children Present at Births)
Rhonda,
with all due respect for your friend, unattended children at a
hospital birth can very stressful for the staff. A lot of staff will take
the attitude that they're not required to look after the child and
wont make an effort. A lot of staff will get very anxious that such a
little one can cause discord in the delivery room. It's always a problem
when parents bring children in when there's no special support person for
child exclusively. It's not that they're not wanted, far from it, it just
alters the flow of attention off the mother, and that's always difficult
when a midwife is trying to care for the mother's needs first.
Having said that, I LOVE having kids in, it adds an extra special
dimension to the labour, and I particularly love having older
children with whom you can talk and discuss things with. The look on their
faces is simply fabulous as they take in an adult version of real
life.
Robin
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Monday, November 25, 2002
5:46 PM
Subject: RE: [ozmidwifery] Re:
[Children Present at Births)
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This reminded me of a woman I know who had not intended her
2yr old son to be at the birth of her second child.
When she went into labour she could not get hold of her back
up child care.
So they went to the hospital and hubby had the 2yr old -
trying to call for someone to help.
To cut it short - a fast labour 21/2 hrs with 2 yr old
running about delivery room - turning the lights off and on while
baby was born.
She was shocked that the nurses didn't even assist with
loking after him.
This was about 11 yrs ago but she still laughs
about yeling at her son to "turn the light back on" between
pushing.
He was totally unprepared and a little too young to be
unattended while Dad helped her.
Rhonda
-------Original
Message-------
Date: Monday,
November 25, 2002 14:39:46
Subject: RE:
[ozmidwifery] Re: [Children Present at Births)
We planned on having out two sons present at the
birth at home of number
three, boys were 3 1/2years and just
under two. I showed them the video of
number two being born,
water birh at home, we watched it lots and also some
other
videos our midwife lent us. I told them about the noise I might
make
and about how not to talk when I was concentrating on the
baby coming out.
Likened it to having to concentrate when
driving the car and looking for a
carpark, can't talk much then
either. I told them it might hurt me, but it
was a special hurt
just for helping babies to come out. I told them it had
to come
out between my legs, a special whole that only mummies have,
boys
don't have one. Daddy would be rubbing my back and helping
me and the baby.
Importantly you need to arrange a person/s for
the children, someone they
trust and they need to support your
philosophies of childbirth, you don't
want their fear coming
into your birth. My husband wasn't as keen as I was,
but he
agreed to take it as it came. I also told them that I might want
to
be on my own and they may have to go for a walk or to
grandma's. I
acknowledged that this could upset them and hence
affect my labour, but
figured I would allow half an hour extra
in labour for this to be worked
through(not scientifically
based).Birth can take a while so children will
probably want
other things to do. You have to accept that may not even
like
to be there at the time, nothing is set in concrete.
It
helps if they are involved with the pregnancy, attending
appointments if
in hospital or helping the midwife if at home.
Kids just love the tools of a
midwife, fundal measurements
might be a bit out though if they help.
Some good books are
"Having a Baby" by Jenni Overend and also the writer of
"Maisie
Mouse" series has one about introducing a new sibling etc,
(sorry
don't know the name).
Lots of talking, my youngest
wasn't that interested, but the older boy new
all about the
placenta and unbilical cord, he loved the blood and mess.
After
all my education, baby decided to enter the world in the middle of
the
night and the boys slept right through it all. We woke the
eldest up a
couple of hours later to help cut the cord. Little
one didn't wake til usual
time. It was a fast and demanding
labour so it was appropriate that the boys
weren't there, I
believe I wouldn't have coped as well, things happen for
a
reason.
My oldest, now 4 1/4 years thinks I should have
another baby so as our
midwife can visit us again and so as he
can be awake to see the birth this
time. I love this, but dad's
not to keen. He offered to pay the midwife just
to visit, no
baby.
So I don't think it matters how old other children
are, just prepare them as
best you can for the birth and enjoy
the time.
Cheers
Megan.
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