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Dear robin,
I can understand this attitude but when the parents have made
every effort to get help and have been unable to contact anyone
(just bad timing rather than bad management) you would expect some
understanding and support from the nursing staff - not like she
could just put off her labour until the babysitter came
home. She was made to feel that she was not meant to have
him there etc as she had not planned it she was also feeling that
he was not meant to be there which made her uncomfortable.
Also it does not take much effort to help especially with
this woman who basically popped out all of her four boys without
any assistance or complications. I don't know why she went
to the hospital - personally.
4 hours being her longest
labour. No tears, no other complications at all except an
unattended 2yr old who found the light switch.
I did say to her if that was her only complaint out of 4
hospital births then she had "nothing" to complain about!
LOL
Rhonda.
If that was the worst thing to happen to all women we would
all be laughing!
-------Original Message-------
Date: Monday,
November 25, 2002 19:35:40
Subject: Re:
[ozmidwifery] Re: [Children Present at Births)
Rhonda,
with all due respect for your friend, unattended children at
a hospital birth can very stressful for the staff. A lot of staff
will take the attitude that they're not required to look after the
child and wont make an effort. A lot of staff will get very
anxious that such a little one can cause discord in the delivery
room. It's always a problem when parents bring children in when
there's no special support person for child exclusively. It's not
that they're not wanted, far from it, it just alters the flow of
attention off the mother, and that's always difficult when a
midwife is trying to care for the mother's needs first.
Having said that, I LOVE having kids in, it adds an extra
special dimension to the labour, and I particularly love
having older children with whom you can talk and discuss things
with. The look on their faces is simply fabulous as they take in
an adult version of real life.
Robin
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Monday, November 25,
2002 5:46 PM
Subject: RE: [ozmidwifery]
Re: [Children Present at Births)
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This reminded me of a woman I know who had not
intended her 2yr old son to be at the birth of her second
child.
When she went into labour she could not get hold of
her back up child care.
So they went to the hospital and hubby had the 2yr
old - trying to call for someone to help.
To cut it short - a fast labour 21/2 hrs with 2 yr
old running about delivery room - turning the lights off
and on while baby was born.
She was shocked that the nurses didn't even assist
with loking after him.
This was about 11 yrs ago but she still
laughs about yeling at her son to "turn the light back on"
between pushing.
He was totally unprepared and a little too
young to be unattended while Dad helped her.
Rhonda
-------Original
Message-------
Date:
Monday, November 25, 2002 14:39:46
Subject: RE: [ozmidwifery] Re: [Children
Present at Births)
We planned on having out two sons present
at the birth at home of number
three, boys were 3
1/2years and just under two. I showed them the video
of
number two being born, water birh at home, we
watched it lots and also some
other videos our midwife
lent us. I told them about the noise I might make
and
about how not to talk when I was concentrating on the baby
coming out.
Likened it to having to concentrate when
driving the car and looking for a
carpark, can't talk
much then either. I told them it might hurt me, but
it
was a special hurt just for helping babies to come
out. I told them it had
to come out between my legs, a
special whole that only mummies have, boys
don't have
one. Daddy would be rubbing my back and helping me and the
baby.
Importantly you need to arrange a person/s for
the children, someone they
trust and they need to
support your philosophies of childbirth, you don't
want
their fear coming into your birth. My husband wasn't as
keen as I was,
but he agreed to take it as it came. I
also told them that I might want to
be on my own and
they may have to go for a walk or to grandma's.
I
acknowledged that this could upset them and hence
affect my labour, but
figured I would allow half an
hour extra in labour for this to be worked
through(not
scientifically based).Birth can take a while so children
will
probably want other things to do. You have to
accept that may not even like
to be there at the time,
nothing is set in concrete.
It helps if they are
involved with the pregnancy, attending appointments
if
in hospital or helping the midwife if at home. Kids
just love the tools of a
midwife, fundal measurements
might be a bit out though if they help.
Some good books
are "Having a Baby" by Jenni Overend and also the writer
of
"Maisie Mouse" series has one about introducing a
new sibling etc, (sorry
don't know the name).
Lots
of talking, my youngest wasn't that interested, but the
older boy new
all about the placenta and unbilical
cord, he loved the blood and mess.
After all my
education, baby decided to enter the world in the middle
of the
night and the boys slept right through it all.
We woke the eldest up a
couple of hours later to help
cut the cord. Little one didn't wake til usual
time. It
was a fast and demanding labour so it was appropriate that
the boys
weren't there, I believe I wouldn't have coped
as well, things happen for a
reason.
My oldest, now
4 1/4 years thinks I should have another baby so as
our
midwife can visit us again and so as he can be
awake to see the birth this
time. I love this, but
dad's not to keen. He offered to pay the midwife
just
to visit, no baby.
So I don't think it
matters how old other children are, just prepare them
as
best you can for the birth and enjoy the
time.
Cheers
Megan.
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