Hi Marilyn, I first discovered breastfeeding was "supposed" to inhibit sex drive at a la leche league meeting when my 3rd baby was a few weeks old -and there I was obliviously waiting for my 6 week check up so I could really "get going again!"
I do remember saying "help yourself Im asleep" (which did seem to offend but I was too tired to give a damn on that particular occasion). but I never found breastfeeding to inhibit desire or lubrication etc. I have found myself the "odd one out" in discussions which tend to blame breastfeeding for lack of interest. I actually felt really sexy -I had tits!! for the first time, so I guess we can be victims of our conditioning whether it is the madonna whore effect which some mums explain means they dont feel that they can equate being a mother with being spontaneous, or who the breasts "belong" to - me actually! I did find the birth experience made a difference to how I felt - especially as I mentioned, how many rubber gloved fingers had been in my vagina. And, like Barb mentioned - a bit of household help could be a turn on - I read somewhere the words of a psycoanalyst who said "show me an impeccable housewife and I will show you a woman with severe sexual hangups ." I often used this to "justify" my postponement of household duties asking my husband "well, do you want a WIFE (Washing Ironing F'ing Etc) or lover? Then whilst nursing in a postnatal ward in NZ one day, the charge nurse and I returned from lunch to a student midwife saying "XXXX has upset your ladies". It turned out that XXX had tidied up the caesarean ladies -I used to leave their slippers etc in easy reach -and she had them all sitting up neat and tidy when they wanted to rest and they were collectively crying. The Charge nurse grinned and quoted the famous psychoanalist saying "well you know what they say...." the next weekend as I came on duty I was greeted by the charge nurse in stitches -Apparently XXXs husband had been picked during the week - for flashing outside the Girls High school !! Pinky Pinky ----- Original Message ----- From: "Marilyn Kleidon" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Tuesday, March 23, 2004 7:00 AM Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] co-sleeping > You know Belinda, I think that was my parents' approach to me sleeping with > them. I have a fond memory of their bed being a welcoming place up until I > was about 2 or 3 yrs then I have a memory of being cramped, hot, and itchy > when in there...I soon preferred my own bed though would go in for > reassurance. My dad had a similar ploy for avoiding housework: he would do > it but happily get fired by my mum for not doing it to her expectations. > Umm! > > Re sex: I never felt it was a chore always something I really wanted too. > Any time it was "expected" it was a definite turn off and a turn down. I > always found an active sex life to actually be an energizer for me and was > definetly prepared to sacrifice the housewifely jobs(but not the mothering > joys) to play matahari. Granted this can be a bone of contention so to > speak. I can accept being the odd woman out here: I am not overly fond of > chocolate and never, never suffer from being too cold in air conditioning or > any situations that don't involve a windchill factor. I know lactation is > theoretically supposed to decrease sex drive and lubrication not so for me > though it did inhibit ovulation until the absolute last breastfeed for all 3 > girls. Even one feed a day kept fertility away. But not the sex drive. Oh > well! > > marilyn > ----- Original Message ----- > From: "Belinda Maier" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > Sent: Sunday, March 21, 2004 6:13 PM > Subject: [ozmidwifery] co-sleeping > > > > When i got desperate with my second child who as about five and always in > > our small bed as well as his new brother I tried many things. What worked > > best was always welcoming him into our bed yet making him very > uncomfortable > > so his own bed was more attractive ie squishing him towards the edge of > the > > bed, being restless, dragging the pillow or blankets slightly off him etc. > > He soon chose to have a cuddle then get back into his own comfy bed. > > The partner and sex thing, I think parenting does sap a lot of energy for > > sex but it doesnt have to be a bad thing it is just a stage of your life. > > Most epople I know say when the kids get older you start to regain energy > > for you sex life. It seems women are expected to be too much; mothers, > > drivers, cleaners, workers and also lovers! Partners/men should be > > apprecieated but it is like my kids, they dont just get rewarded for being > > reasonable good poeple, that is an everyday expectation neither do we > focus > > on 'bad' behaviour, they are appreciated and loved and reminded tof the > > qualities in them that we love. I get a bit frustrated when men are > revered > > for being so great when they are really doing no more than the average > woman > > is doing. > > Belinda > > > > -- > > This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. > > Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au> to subscribe or unsubscribe. > > > > > -- > This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. > Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au> to subscribe or unsubscribe. -- This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au> to subscribe or unsubscribe.
