> I do remember saying "help yourself Im asleep" (which did seem to offend
but
> I was too tired to give a damn on that particular occasion). but I never
> found breastfeeding to inhibit desire or lubrication etc. I have found
> myself the "odd one out" in discussions which tend to blame breastfeeding
> for lack of interest. I actually felt really sexy -I had tits!! for the
> first time, so I guess we can be victims of our conditioning whether it is
> the madonna whore effect which some mums explain means they dont feel that
> they can equate being a mother with being spontaneous, or who the breasts
> "belong" to  - me actually!

Loved the "help yourself" comment Pinky.

I see an enormous range of "normal" amongst mothers. Being exhausted makes
an enormous differnce to how interested a person is going to be in sex. As
does stress.

I am not sure the lack of desire many women feel while breastfeeding is
simply conditioning. Speaking from absolute personal experience, I
thoroughly enjoy sex when I am not breastfeeding and have a particularly
good time when I am pregnant and definitely have a supercharged libido. I am
not able to blame housework on my lack of interest - living as an expat I
don't have any. Stress from looking after the kids is not the issue either -
three of them are at school all day and then I have full time help with them
in the afternoons and they are not exactly exhausting like they were when
they were little (two now in early teens). I never feel tired or run down. I
never feel particularly stressed. But I am very definitely not interested in
any form of sex while I am breastfeeding. It is purely a hormonal issue -
once I stop feeding I get those old feelings all flooding back - at least
that has happened the last 3 times so fingers crossed for this one!

On the opposite end of the scale I have worked with many women who have been
hotter than hot from soon after giving birth despite feeding. Just depends
on the woman I guess!

Nikki Macfarlane


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