Couldn't resist adding my bit to this one!
First bub was elective C/S, which hubby found very ho hum, not really a
worry or a turn off, but not very exciting either - his words were "it's a
bit like ordering your baby at the department store"
2nd bub was VBAC but VERY medicalised- I had so much in the way of
intervention and drugs that he spent the most part of the very long labour
totally bored and not at all a part of anything - I was either off my face
or asleep (post epidural) so it was not exactly a sharing experience for
either of us. Not turned off exactly but not very impressed at all ( and
neither was I ) He was there and supplied what ever was needed, but didn't
really feel involved.
3rd bub was totally natural, fast furious and exciting. I was very
uninhibited and undrugged, couldn't stand the restriction of clothing so
stripped off. It was in a small hospital and the midwife and doctor both
took a back seat and let us and our support friend (fellow midwife) get on
with it - I caught bub with my own hands. Moaned and moved as I felt the
need. He was so involved this time and very supportive, got very teary when
she arrived, and confessed to me later that he had been really turned on
while I was in labour! (I took this as a compliment :-)) We both have
very fond memories of that birth and I know that he enjoyed it as much as I
did..
Sue
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do
nothing"
Edmund Burke
----- Original Message -----
From: "wump fish" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Wednesday, August 31, 2005 9:44 AM
Subject: RE: [ozmidwifery] Men at births
This is a very interesting article and topic. I wonder if the type of
birth experience influences how men feel.
I think one of points the article misses is that physiological childbirth
is a sexual event (and I don't mean sexually stimulating). It involves the
same hormones, parts of the body, noises etc. Men notice this eg. my
friend's husband pointed out that she looked like she was 'coming' during
labour - she responded by swearing and banishing him to another room (it
was a homebirth).
I think the mixture of their partner's body and the medical/surgical
setting could cause problems. My husband hates hospital and found the
environment during my first birth stressful. Second baby was born at home
and he was much more relaxed. At home men can also 'get away' if they need
to - it is their house, they can go into the kitchen etc = more control
over what they see. I have seen many a man trapped in the delivery room,
desperately trying to avoid seeing the placenta or perineum etc.
Another friends husband had problems sexually after seeing her in stirrups
being sutured. I suture without stirrups and draps because I think it has
an impact on both the woman and partners.
The impact of witnessing birth is probably dependent on the birth
experience and the individual couple.
Rachel
From: Andrea Robertson <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Reply-To: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: [ozmidwifery] Men at births
Date: Wed, 31 Aug 2005 10:55:37 +1000
This is an interesting report in today's Sydney Morning Herald. I remember
Michel Odent talking about research done in the US that explored the
effect on a couple's sexual relationship when the man had been exposed to
the birth process. Michel was advocating that women might want to retain
some of their "sexual mystery" by excluding men from the birth room. I
have been at births where I wondered how the father was taking the sight
of a practitioner cutting an episiotomy.....
What does everyone think about this?
http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2005/08/30/1125302566185.html
Regards,
Andrea
-----
Andrea Robertson
Birth International * ACE Graphics * Associates in Childbirth Education
e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
web: www.birthinternational.com
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