I wonder if
anyone does these or similar in Melbourne specifically for men
On the Joyous Birth forums
there is a private section specifically for fathers who have been present at
births which were traumatic. We also support them in planning, with their
partners, for subsequent births in a more empowered and informed way. We
have dads at Joyous Birth meetings in Melbourne, Brisbane and Sydney where they
have access to all our books, videos and the like. Many men who attend home
births, especially after experiencing how unnecessary they often are in the
hospital hierarchy, become great advocates of woman centred birth.
When I ran that article past
the dad who moderates that forum, he was gobsmacked that anyone could
find the normal, natural processes of birth anything other than wondrous. He sat
like a deaf mute, through fear, watching his wife scream through repeated
unwanted VEs, with the staff demanding that he help hold her still. He was sent
home at one point as her induced labour ramped up because the hospital was
having building done and she was forced to labour in one large room with other
unsupported labouring women. He saw her repeatedly jabbed in the leg with
pethidine without her knowledge or consent - it was done in the middle of a cx
and she would ask what had been given to her when she came out of the pain.
Eventually all this led to caesarean and the staff refusing both him and his
wife the chance to hold their baby for many many hours. She is still recovering
from PTSD 3 years later and after a great deal of work, they have reclaimed
their marriage and are planning a home birth. He can't wait to actually be
involved and be able to support his wife. And she can't wait to hold her own
baby as soon as it's born.
I think the pathologising of
even normal, physiological birth has led us to this sad situation.
We have at least one couple
who have divorced partly over the husband supporting the hospital to pressure
the wife into an unnecessary (and second!) "elective" caesarean. The
physical injury she sustained from that operation was terrible, not to mention
the PTSD, and she says in retrospect she didn't realise how much his attitude
would impact negatively on their marriage, let alone her birth experience. So
now she's single and dreaming of a HBA2C for her future.
J
