>From an email forwarded to me. I can't vouch for the purported provenance, but >I have seen some of these before . . .
stan > Here are the ten first place winners in the International Pun Contest: > > 1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead > raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one > carrion allowed per passenger.' > > 2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the > other and says 'Dam!' > > 3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they > lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again > that you can't have your kayak and heat it too. > > 4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my > electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm > positive.' > > 5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain > during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication. > > 6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and > were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament > victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked > them to disperse. 'But why?' they asked, as they moved off. > 'Because,' he said, 'I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open > foyer!' > > 7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One > of them goes to Spain ; they named him 'Juan'. The other went to a family in > Egypt and was named 'Ahmal'. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to > his birth mother. > Upon receiving the picture, > she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of > Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you seen Juan, > you've seen Ahmal. > > 8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry Payments, so they opened up > a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers > from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was > unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. > He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival > florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town, to > 'persuade' them to close. > Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their > store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. > Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist > friars. > > 9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of > the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his > feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd > diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a (Oh, man, this is so bad, > it's good!) 'super calloused fragile mystic hexed by > halitosis'. > > 10. And finally... there was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with > the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten > did. -- PDML Pentax-Discuss Mail List [email protected] http://pdml.net/mailman/listinfo/pdml_pdml.net to UNSUBSCRIBE from the PDML, please visit the link directly above and follow the directions.
