"super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis" -- yeah! On Mon, Jul 19, 2010 at 9:06 AM, Stan Halpin <[email protected]> wrote: > >From an email forwarded to me. I can't vouch for the purported provenance, > >but I have seen some of these before . . . > > stan > > >> Here are the ten first place winners in the International Pun Contest: >> >> 1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead >> raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one >> carrion allowed per passenger.' >> >> 2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the >> other and says 'Dam!' >> >> 3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they >> lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again >> that you can't have your kayak and heat it too. >> >> 4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my >> electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm >> positive.' >> >> 5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain >> during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication. >> >> 6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and >> were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament >> victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked >> them to disperse. 'But why?' they asked, as they moved off. >> 'Because,' he said, 'I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open >> foyer!' >> >> 7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One >> of them goes to Spain ; they named him 'Juan'. The other went to a family in >> Egypt and was named 'Ahmal'. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to >> his birth mother. >> Upon receiving the picture, >> she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of >> Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you seen Juan, >> you've seen Ahmal. >> >> 8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry Payments, so they opened >> up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers >> from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition >> was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. >> He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival >> florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town, >> to 'persuade' them to close. >> Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their >> store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. >> Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist >> friars. >> >> 9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of >> the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his >> feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd >> diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a (Oh, man, this is so bad, >> it's good!) 'super calloused fragile mystic hexed by >> halitosis'. >> >> 10. And finally... there was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with >> the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten >> did. > > -- > PDML Pentax-Discuss Mail List > [email protected] > http://pdml.net/mailman/listinfo/pdml_pdml.net > to UNSUBSCRIBE from the PDML, please visit the link directly above and follow > the directions. >
-- Bong Manayon http://www.bong.uni.cc -- PDML Pentax-Discuss Mail List [email protected] http://pdml.net/mailman/listinfo/pdml_pdml.net to UNSUBSCRIBE from the PDML, please visit the link directly above and follow the directions.
